Rehab (11/266)

Home reconstruction project, Magdalena, NM, Jan. 2012

I felt too chilled to be outside much today, so (confession time) I snapped this photo from my car on my way to pick the kids up from school. I pass this house many times in a week and have not seen much progress -- exterior, anyway -- in a long time. I find it remarkable that the stained-glass window remains intact amid all the decay. This was surely once a beautiful home, in what was once a thriving village. Yet a certain, deeper beauty remains, perhaps simply because it is still standing.

This evening I heard from a dear friend who had a serious brain injury 18 or so months ago and became essentially unable to communicate. We dated and (afterwards) became very good friends in grad school, and he is one of the smartest, funniest people I know. I was devastated when I heard what happened, so to get a note from him tonight felt like a miracle. I don't know yet where he is in terms of recovery or rehabilitation but I'm sorely tempted to drop everything and go see him, to catch up on old times and see what lies ahead. Rehabilitation may take a long time, and may never be fully complete, but it would be so wonderful to talk to and maybe even see my friend again.

Descanso 2 (10/366)

So many final resting places along the highway.... Descansos are not actual graves but rather memorials set up at or near where a loved one left this earth. This one looks to be several years old, judging by the faded photo under the rosary, but is clearly well tended. I noted the locations of many more on my drive up to Albuquerque today and will be photographing them when possible.

Descanso near mile marker 213, I-25 northbound, Albuquerque, NM, Jan. 2012

Descanso 1 (9/366)

Descanso (1999), Socorro County, NM, Jan. 2012

Descanso is a Spanish word that means "resting place" and refers commonly to a roadside cross or other tribute set up to memorialize a loved one's untimely death. In most states personal roadside memorials are forbidden or regulated and standardized, but in New Mexico descansos are ubiquitous and highly personal. The tradition has deep roots here, arriving with the earliest Spanish settlers in the 1500s, and is respected as part of the local heritage. I pass a dozen or more descansos on my twice-weekly commute to Albuquerque for internship, and I keep thinking I should stop and photograph them to document this local tradition. Today I decided to start with this one about 20 miles from home, which I pass going down and back up the steep, winding hill between Magdalena and Socorro. It is a sobering reminder of life's fragility but also a tribute to the beauty of our love for each other.

The Creative Exchange: After the Holidays

In Memoriam, Magdalena, NM, Jan. 2012

For today's Creative Exchange I offer a photo and a confession: I don't really enjoy the winter holidays much anymore. The decorations are beautiful, and with two young kids I do my best to make a festive environment and build their anticipation and all that. But in addition to it being winter, which I just hate despite my best efforts to appreciate its quiet dormancy, I usually feel overwhelmed by the expectations, other people's and my own as well. I unexpectedly spent New Year's Eve alone this year (well, except for two big snoring dogs at my feet and two purring cats in my lap) because of a misunderstanding with the kids' dad; they were supposed to be with me but he took them to a gathering and didn't bring them back till after 1:30 a.m. As midnight approached, my Monkey Mind kind of freaked out because everyone knows you CANNOT be alone on New Year's Eve -- what happens at midnight sets the tone for the ENTIRE YEAR, right?? And there I was, all alone (except for my menagerie), and I was pissed off that not only were the kids not with me as expected but I could have made other plans, and really I was terrified because oh my GOD this means 2012 will be a huge disaster and I'll be alone forevermore, woe unto me.

Last year, I had a similarly quiet time; I was pretty deep in the process of mourning my mom, and the kids were with their dad, so I burrowed into my bed and watched movies all night. That part was okay, but it was very, very cold out and the water pipe from the village main to our house froze that night, so I had no running water for three days. That's definitely a sucky way to start a new year, and yet as 2011 unfolded some really amazing things began to happen, and I ended the year in a place far better than I could have imagined.

Expectations are rich fuel for Monkey Mind; as some people say, an expectation is a premeditated resentment, I think because it sets us up to be disappointed and to feel like we've been deprived of something. That said, I still hope my next New Year's Eve is a bit more exciting -- say, lounging in a tropical paradise with the love of my life -- just so I don't have to work quite so hard at convincing myself that it will all be okay. I am getting better at it... it only took me nine days to process all this and write it out so I could let it go and get on with the new year, a day at a time.

Self-Reflection (8/366)

Self-portrait 1: Focused. Magdalena, NM, Jan. 2012

Today I joined another photo blogging project, {in the picture} (see the Flickr group here), to focus specifically on portraiture -- actually, self-portraiture, which... well, I much prefer being on the back side of the lens, so let's just call this a stretching exercise. It's a monthly thing, so not too much pressure, and God knows I don't need more than a dozen pictures of myself lying around. Really I see it as a chance to learn creative portraiture strategies, using myself as the subject so I can experiment more freely. And you only have to look at the few pictures that come out okay.... Of course, these might have been a tad clearer had I thought to wash my windows before photographing them.

Self-portrait 2: Distracted

This month's theme is "a piece of me," interpreted however we choose, and since none of the random body-parts images I took seemed remotely appealing I decided to go with these. The first, more obvious interpretation (to me): my camera is definitely a piece of me, all the more so since I started the 366 photo project. Perhaps a less obvious interpretation: our reflections are a major part of who we are: not only what (we think) others see but what we see in the mirror or the window or a photo. It's so subjective, really; some days we "look good," others not so much. I wasted way too many years not liking how I looked, and now I realize that how I "look" is shaped from within, through my internal lens. I can choose what to think and what to see. I'm hardly Julia Roberts, but for all I know she has her share of not-so-good days, too. So, yeah, choose to see beauty, all around you and within you, too.

I Heart Macro: Lichens

Lichens on sedimentary rock, Magdalena, NM, Jan. 2012

The winter landscape always seems bleak to me, but on yesterday's walk this lichen-covered rock jumped out at me with its splash of unexpected color. Lichens are a symbiotic union of fungi and algae, and can adapt to and thrive anywhere from the arctic tundra to the arid southwest. They survive extreme drought by going into a sort of dormancy (termed a "cryptobiotic state"), coming alive again when moisture becomes available. This likely explains the flourish of color on the lichens pictured here; the foot of snow we got two weeks ago lingered and melted slowly, giving everything a long, cool drink of water and reviving the hardy lichens scattered across our plentiful rock formations. A lichen crust makes a fine offering for today's I Heart Macro; be sure to stop over at Lori's site to see lots of other beautiful close-ups.

Who's the Pack Leader? (7/366)

Riley's Treasure, Magdalena, NM, Jan. 2012

Here's a slightly gruesome set of images for you.... I wanted to take the dogs hiking in the mountains on this 58-degree day, but two weeks after our huge snowstorm the road up to Kelly is still muddy and even snow-packed in some places. So we went out to the property as usual, where the dogs kicked up two jackrabbits for a merry chase and Riley found what looks like part of a spine from some mid-sized creature. I'm thinking jackrabbit but it's hard to tell. He happily brought it to me and then lay down to devour it....

No, says Lucy, it's MY treasure now...

Then along came Lucy and the doggy dynamics got interesting. She challenged him -- no fighting, just asserting herself strongly as she nosed in on the catch. Riley snatched it up and tried to run away but Lucy challenged him again, halting him with a growl and easing up to him to carefully remove it from his jaws.

Riley tries to run away with his find, but Lucy stops him with a growl...

Despite being taller than Lucy and outweighing her by 10 to 15 pounds, Riley finally yielded. He sat as close as he dared and whined, and he had to be content with scraps after she finished. Lucy is definitely the pack leader here, mostly because she has been Top Dog since Riley showed up as a puppy last May. Dominance is a peculiar thing; it's not always lack of size or strength that makes us powerless, but simply the belief that we are.

...and then makes him watch her chew it up.

Graveyard's Edge (6/366)

Graveyard Fence, Magdalena, NM, Jan. 2012

Not much to say today except that I'm grateful for a sunny, warmish day, my camera, and the beauty around me. Some stuff got triggered yesterday so I think I need to turn inward and deal with it. "Physician, heal thyself." My prescription for myself: rambling, photography, music, movies, sunshine, solitude. No better place to find solitude than a graveyard, unless you believe in ghosts. Which I don't, not as external manifestations, anyway.

A candle in the window (5/366)

Still life with candle, bell, and mosaic, Magdalena, NM, Jan. 2012

Put a candle in the window
Cause I feel I've gotta move
Though I'm going, going
I'll be comin' home soon
Long as I can see the light
-John Fogerty, "Long As I Can See the Light"

This was a very, very long day. The agency was jammed with suicide assessments today so I had absolutely no time to sit, think, or even eat -- I had to eat an apple walking between sessions and ate my lunch at 6pm, just after my third client session and before my third assessment session of the day. I know I can't fix everything these kids and their families are going through in 90 minutes, but I do want to do more than simply "assess risk" so I've begun to try to make these sessions a place for people to pause, breathe, think... and gather enough support and energy and hope to keep going.

How timely, then, this Daily Om missive in my email tonight: "We cannot bring to the world what we do not have to offer. Peace starts in our own minds and hearts, not outside of ourselves, and until its roots are firmly entrenched in our own selves, we cannot manifest it externally. Once we have found it within, we can share it... we help the world most by practicing the art of choosing peace within."

Sunset Song

Sunset in the Village, Magdalena, NM

The sky turns to fire
Against a telephone wire
Burns the last of the day down
And I'm the last one hanging 'round
I'm waiting on a train track
And the train never comes back
And even I'm getting tired
Of useless desire
-Patty Griffin, "Useless Desire"

Sort-of Spring (4/366)

Fresh Water, Magdalena, NM, Jan. 2012

I'm liking the discipline of picking up my camera every day for my 366 project. Today I had more time and the 50-degree weather begged for another run on the property. I felt drawn towards water: Dad and his friend Doc rigged up a spring of sorts, running a pipe from the well (which has a solar-powered pump) to a dirt tank so the horses and other animals would have water year-round. This photo shows the outlet at the pond's edge; the pipe is buried 18 inches so it runs even in cold weather.

Undeterred by the cold, the dogs strode right into the water to drink and play. I was happy to watch, and as I sat quietly and the dogs moved on, birds started gathering in the nearby trees and flitted back and forth to the water's edge to drink. No photos of them yet; soon I'll be a bit better equipped thanks to the recent Ebay sales of my D3100 and the 55-200mm lens...

Winter Shadows (3/366)

Tree and shadows in sepia and selenium, Albuquerque, NM, Jan. 2012

I took all of three photos today, and none are very exciting so I tried to amp things up with some post-processing shenanigans including a Topaz B&W Effects filter called Sepia & Selenium 3 and a Topaz Detail filter called Soft Looking. It was my first day back to work (internship) in Albuquerque and despite four of six clients cancelling (they're apparently not as ready to jump back into work as I am) it was still a busy day and I only had a moment before sunset to grab a photo. I don't love being indoors all day, but I do love my work, and I love my colleagues for their great company and humor and insights and wisdom.

Winter Coat (2/366)

Precita meditating on the mountains, Magdalena, NM, Jan. 2012

Today's 365 366 shoot took me out to the property, where the dogs got a much-needed run and I communed with our friend Doc's horses. They seem to be weathering our stormy weather just fine; I wish I could be as stoic, but then again I don't have a plush winter coat like they do.

Given how much snow we've had in the past month -- over two feet -- I wasn't surprised to see some major patches left despite several sunny days in the 40s and 50s. The ground is very muddy now, seemingly more so than after any of the summer's rains. This bodes well for spring growth, as long as the winter storms don't go away altogether.

All your chewies are belong to me

"I'll be taking that stick now," says the 5-pound baby dachshund to the 95-pound toddler mastiff

I just had to share these pics from our puppy play date on Friday. The kids got a dachshund puppy, Blue, at their dad's house a few months ago, and she is a real character. The kids bring her to my house sometimes, and as mismatched in size as they are she and Riley are now BFFs after a few play dates. Watching them play is comical, all the more so since Blue constantly steals Riley's bones and sticks and chewies and Riley protests like a little kid whining for Mama, apparently not realizing he outweighs Blue by a factor of 20 or so. What a great lesson in dog play and behavior and dominance; it definitely is not just about size or strength.

"But that's MYYYY bone," whines Riley.

Happy New Year (Day 1 of 366 Photo Project)

Home fire (with ghost kitty?), Magdalena, NM, Jan. 2012

I'm going to try to do a 365 photo project this year (actually, it should be a 366 project since it's a Leap Year). I haven't in the past because my Inner Perfectionista gets upset when I don't do things exactly as they're "supposed" to be done. This year, I will just do my best, and I will also take my camera with me wherever I go, when possible. This is something I want to do anyway to expand my vision and shooting opportunities.

Today's theme (which I might try to spin into the week's theme): Keep the home fires burning. I love having a fireplace, as messy as it can be, and I work hard to keep it filled -- splitting, stacking, and hauling in wood, stocking a few days' worth in the garage for stormy weather, and cleaning out and dumping the endless ashes. It's worth the work both for the ambiance and the savings; while the fire is burning the heater almost never goes on unless it's 10F or colder outside. A wood stove would be much more efficient, so that might be one of next year's home improvements. In the meantime, the dogs and cats and kids and I get plenty of time together during the winter as we gather around the fire every evening. That is priceless.

Do-Over: Two Trees

Two Trees at Sunset, Bosque del Apache NWR, Oct. 2011

It is sunny and WARM (mid-50s) today, so I'll just be a moment before heading outside with the kids and the dogs. Based on feedback I received on the original posting of this photo, I've been wanting to re-process the image to give the trees more "breathing room." I know I tend to crop in too closely, probably fearing that details (like the bird perching atop the dead tree above) will be lost in a larger image, but really the point of landscapes seems to be large ideas rather than small details. I still need to work on that. Meanwhile, here's the revised image, and I do indeed like it much better than my earlier version. I always appreciate feedback, including constructive criticism; nothing like another set of eyes to offer a different perspective.

Ice, Ice, Baby

Icicle detail, Magdalena, NM, Dec. 2011

Icicle at sunset

I never imagined an icicle could look so... alluring.... So my "Appreciate Winter's Unique Beauty" series continues thanks to bountiful ice and snow. Our weather has been off the charts lately; the first official day of winter brought us our fourth winter storm, and this one was a monster for us in central and western New Mexico. The scenery is amazing, though, and just the icicles on my house (now melted) provided some great images. The photo above is not a macro (that would have given better clarity but I couldn't find my macro filter in the Christmas mess) but rather a close-up taken from the image at left. It still has some very cool details and looks like a glass sculpture of a woman's body. I was shocked to see that my camera managed to capture the icicle's surface frost and interior bubbles. More Photoshopping would surely clean up the detail in the reflections, and I'll be looking harder for that macro filter now that I see what this camera is capable of.

Merry Christmas!

My crocheted gingerbread house

What A Real Pro Can Do

Rosy Finch in a whole new light

I asked a friend to help me learn more about Photoshop and bring a bit more "art" to my photos, and WOW did I learn a lot. Watching a professional work was a great experience in itself, and to come up with this result, which may or may not be "finished" (I think it's already fabulous), was beyond what I'd hoped for. So, what am I gonna do during my vacation (besides finally finish my course project)? Play, play, play! And, not that I need another reason to want to hang out with this great person, but hey, I'm sure I'll need a refresher course soon. Next up: a re-do of the hummingbird pictures; thanks to your feedback and my great tutelage I have some ideas of how to make them... outstanding? Well, I'll try.

Post-Processing Experiments: Hummingbird Images Revisited

I am staying up way too late these days playing in Photoshop, lately with the Topaz B/W plug-in. Working with the latter I am finally breaking free of my visual literalism (or whatever you'd call it) to consider what other elements of an image besides stark realism might express the essence of the subject. I always want the most crisp image possible and recall being disappointed when I first opened these images; without a ridiculously expensive fast telephoto lens, hummingbirds are close to impossible to capture "perfectly."

Last night I opened three hummingbird images I took during the summer and started abstracting them; the results were nice, but... still very realistic. Tonight, having had so much fun earlier with today's bird images, I opened the hummingbird images again and went further into abstraction. The blur works here; especially in the top photo I marvel at the clarity of the little dude's eye and head/neck feathers.

I still need to work with the tinting; I see these as a series, perhaps matted or at least hung together, and think the color should be consistent among them. But I can't decide between a warmer or a cooler tone... what do you think?

Birds at Play

Rosy Finch, Digital photo in Opalotype style, Magdalena, NM, Dec. 2011

Dark-eyed Junco

It is still snowing here in Western New Mexico, and it is lovely. I refilled the bird feeders this morning, knowing my little buddies wouldn't be able to get to much of their natural food thanks to our heavy snow today, and here they are, giving me and the kitties a wonderful show. The front feeder has been taken over by doves, who drop enough feed on the ground that I'm hoping some quail will come by later. I don't see them often because I live in town and many dogs roam around, but when the weather keeps the dogs (and people) hunkered down the quail probably feel safer coming out from their brushy cover.

Female Finch

We have a feeder in the back yard, too, and I moved it closer to the sliding glass doors in the living room so I could get some good shots of them feeding and fussing. I used my 55-200mm zoom lens for these images; I was going to sell this lens because I've never been impressed by its optics but decided to hold off to see if it gave better results with the new camera. These are good enough for now, I think. I processed them as always in Photoshop, then ran them through the Topaz Labs B/W Effects filter to add a vintage feel by desaturating (though I never can bring myself to eliminate the color altogether), adding grain and vignettes, and so forth. These images are all done in the "Opalotype" style, which mimics an early photographic process of printing images directly on milk glass (also called opal glass). Like many black-and-white prints opalotypes were often hand-tinted with just a blush of color. I'm in LUVVV with this style, so please bear with me as I work it to death in the next few processing sessions....

Mr. and Mrs. Finch at dinner

The Creative Exchange: Snowfall

Midnight Snow, Magdalena, NM, Dec. 2011

I'm linking up with Lisa and friends at The Creative Exchange, always a showcase for amazing and unique photography. We've had storms blowing through one after another for the past few weeks now, which wouldn't seem unusual for most people this time of year. But I live in New Mexico, and when I tell people in other parts of the country about our snow they exclaim, "But how is that possible??"

I'm no fan of winter weather, but if this recent trend signals the end of our wretched La Nina cycle of the past year and some, I can live with it. For a while.

Intimate Landscapes: Glass Chile, Revisited

Hand-blown Glass Chile, Magdalena, NM, Dec. 2011

Oh, my. The new camera does indeed have a better sensor, providing a much clearer, less noisy image. I had to do a lot less processing to bring out the clarity in this image than I did on those in my previous glass chile post, and good God look at those colors.

I think winter will be a bit more bearable now. Huge thanks to my dad for giving me this camera for Christmas, and for believing in my photography.

Intimate Landscapes: Old Rugged Cross

Rusted Iron Cross Detail 1, Magdalena, NM, Dec. 2011

It's cloudy and raw outside, so the kids and I are staying in... and trying not to get on each other's nerves. (They're annoyed with me at the moment because I won't climb a rickety ladder to try to hoist the 45-pound fake Christmas tree out of the garage rafters....) Today's diversion: photography, with my new camera and the f1.8 35mm lens, and stuff around the house that looks cool in the low winter sunlight.

Rusted Iron Cross Detail 2, Magdalena, NM, Dec. 2011

This cross came from the store/gallery I owned and ran till 2007; I bought it in Juarez in 2006 from an ironworker who had accidentally discovered after a freak rainstorm that his beautifully made crosses looked even better with the rich rusted patina that grows on iron after it is exposed to the elements. This cross looks just divine hung on a whitewashed adobe wall, but since I don't currently have such a wall I can make do with an old tapestry for the backdrop.

Rusted Iron Cross Detail 3, Magdalena, NM, Dec. 2011

I Heart Macro: Morning Frost

Light Morning Frost, Magdalena, NM, Dec. 2011

Close-up of Heavy Frost

Time for I Heart Macro! What a winter we've had already -- two major storms so far and another due on Monday -- and it's not even technically winter yet. Two mornings ago the frost was so heavy on my windshield that it took almost 10 minutes of blasting hot air through the defroster to clear it off. I did think to grab a few photos (including the one in my previous post) with my early Christmas gift, a Nikon D5100 that is a step up from the D3000 I've been using for the past year and a half. The D5100 offers a better sensor and much better light sensitivity, and although I haven't yet figured out most of the settings I was able to grab some pretty cool frost photos while waiting for the car to heat up. The second photo shows a close-up of much larger frost crystals; I ran the image through Topaz Labs' B/W Effects for a quick enhancement and may play around with some tinting later on. I have a sad feeling I'll be getting lots of frost and snow images this winter... yes, we need the precipitation, but I can live without the cold and the inconvenience of being stuck at home when I'd rather be out working or playing.