The Laughing Raven

Peekaboo (35/366)

2012-02-04T23:39:00.000-07:00

Crocus, Magdalena, NM, Feb. 2012

Spring may be some time away, but February always feels better than January, if only because the sun is stronger and the days a bit longer. And now that I have bulbs in the front yard, I get a surprise when the first crocuses push up despite the cold to give us some early color. We've had a few nice days of sunny, 50-degree(F) weather, but today was windy and chilly, making the flash of color all the more surprising, and heartening.

Bedtime? We shall see. (34/366)

2012-02-03T23:13:00.000-07:00

"Password, please." Magdalena, NM, Feb. 2012

Morning Light (33/366)

2012-02-02T23:46:00.001-07:00

Descanso, Highway 60, mile marker 122, Socorro County, NM, Feb. 2012

I've lived in Magdalena for almost nine years and don't recall seeing this descanso until this week. The bright, recently placed holiday decorations probably made it stand out, but I also think I've become more attuned to these memorials since I started looking for and at them more closely. This one, which I'll try to learn more about from local residents, is beautiful in its raw simplicity and its setting, shown more fully in the photo below.

Nap Time (32/366)

2012-02-01T23:35:00.000-07:00

Riley and Dad, Magdalena, NM, Jan. 2012

I so need my home days; I got a lot of computer work done but was happy to do so from my lounge chair and, later, right from bed. I'll admit to taking a short snooze this afternoon, too; given yesterday's 10 hours of nonstop work and 4 hours of commuting, I think I earned it. And you know what, even if I hadn't, a nap is always a wonderful thing.

King of the Hill (31/366)

2012-01-31T23:49:00.000-07:00

Billy Goat, Magdalena, NM, Jan. 2012

Thunderbird (30/366)

2012-01-30T23:13:00.000-07:00

1958 Thunderbird detail, Magdalena, NM, Jan. 2012

A warmish sunny day led me outside with the dogs for a walk around the neighborhood and a long-awaited photo shoot of this 1958 Thunderbird hardtop resting in an empty lot. It's a classic beauty despite the neglect and decay, and as I circled it and focused in on details I was amazed at how well the chrome has survived the elements. The headlights are intact, even, and the body shows some rust but hardly a single dent, a testament to the steel construction. What a sweet ride this must have been in its day.

Horseplay (29/366)

2012-01-29T23:27:00.000-07:00

Precita and the boys, Magdalena, NM, Jan. 2012

Damacio, being shy

Many thanks to all who commented on yesterday's post; your kind words and support helped me pull through kind of a rough day. I knew the photo stuff was bothering me, but there seemed to be something deeper, something more pervasive... Last night as I was journaling it occurred to me that yesterday marked 18 months since my mom passed away. I know anniversary reactions can be strong, but the 18-month mark? Well, as soon as I started thinking about it, a lot of feelings came up and within moments I was in tears; and a half hour later, I was feeling a bit better. I miss my mom. Most days I can deal with it, think about it and let it go; maybe lately I haven't really been letting myself think about it, which is how things build up. Oh, and I haven't been getting out for walks on the property or anywhere else lately... that's never good for morale, right? I finally got out there today to let the dogs burn off some energy, and as always I left feeling so much better. It was dusk, so I only got a few shots of the horses, but they seem used to my camera now and don't shy away as much as they used to... well, usually.

Mundane (28/366)

2012-01-28T22:45:00.001-07:00

Winter afternoon, Magdalena, NM, Jan. 2012

I'm linking up with Third Eye for Saturday Sareenity; today's photo definitely needed to show serenity because the day started off chaotically, both at home and in my head. Nothing major, just drama with my boy child, and I woke up feeling gloomy and out of sorts so nothing really seemed right today.

My photo mojo is also low these days; I submitted some pieces (several of the descanso images) to a small local show and received a tepid response: "the photos are pretty basic... easily accessible locations... not technically difficult..." Now every time I pick up the camera I think, oh, more pedestrian, mundane shots, no one wants to see these. No, I don't take criticism well, at least not that kind. They did accept three shots, but today I decided to withdraw because, really, who wants to show to a less-than-enthusiastic reception?

So I'll go back to photographing my world just for myself and forget about the Art Scene. Today's shot is about as mundane as they come, and actually I like that. Beauty isn't exotic or inaccessible or difficult; it is all around us for the taking if we can just see it. Head over to Third Eye to see some other beautiful photos -- I love these virtual gatherings.

Cutie patootie (27/366)

2012-01-27T19:09:00.002-07:00

Maggie at the Socorro County Courthouse, Socorro, NM, Jan. 2012

I love that my girl wears cowgirl boots with her dresses. I love that she cheers her brother on when he does things like today's county-wide spelling bee, and that she tries hard to cheer him up when he doesn't win. He did make it to the 5th round and was the shortest one still in it for a while, and he wasn't at all hard on himself for not winning because we kept telling him it was awesome just that he made it to county and had the courage to get up in front of all those people. So it was a good day.

New Moon (26/366)

2012-01-26T21:07:00.000-07:00

New moon on a telephone wire, Albuquerque, NM, Jan. 2012

No time for photography today, and not much inspiration either. I grabbed this shot before getting in my car to drive home from internship, and instead of pulling out and setting up my tripod I just rested my camera and long lens on the hood of my car and hoped for a good shot. That's not "good photography practice," but I'll cut myself a break because a person can only do so much in a day.

I'm very tired this week. I'm wishing I didn't have to commute to and from Albuquerque twice a week, 2000 miles per month, 22,000 miles by the time internship is over in June. I wish I could move up there and live a more normal life... maybe because the past six weeks have brought water outages and crippling snowfall and a long Internet outage, maybe because it's winter and Magdalena's charms aren't so apparent, maybe because I'm just tired. I'll keep going because I know it's worth it, and because when I'm with my clients, in the moment, I feel energized. For now, that is enough. It has to be.

Juicy (25/366)

2012-01-25T19:45:00.000-07:00

Pomegranate half, Magdalena, NM, Jan. 2012

We finally have Internet at home again! Eleven days after the outage started, our ISP got around to sending out a technician who fixed the problem in a little over an hour. So now I can get my 366 project back on track, not to mention my coursework and client documentation, and go back to my free-wheelin' surfing' 'round the InterWebz. Today's surfing took me to a Flickr 365 project that I really am enjoying, where I found some wonderful food photos by Andrew Potter. His photo stream inspired me to seek out something yummy to photograph, which led me to this pomegranate rolling around in the back of the fruit drawer. It looked beaten up on the outside, but the kernels (or whatever they're called -- pips?) were still juicy and sweet, and the kids and I devoured both halves of this beauty right after I finished shooting.

Snow, again (24/366)

2012-01-24T17:57:00.003-07:00

Surprise! Snowstorm, Magdalena, NM, Jan. 2012

Why does it always seem to snow on or just before my internship days? Luckily it was a wet, brief snow and I was able to make it to Albuquerque for my six clients... half of whom cancelled.... Oh well, it has been a good day, and I'm actually glad I got to go to work today! (Go figure...)

Turbulence (21/366)

2012-01-22T15:41:00.002-07:00

Descanso por dos, Highway 550 near mile marker 12 (Sandoval County), Jan. 2012

I finally got a weekend off from everything and was able to spend some good time hanging out with and roaming around with a particularly enjoyable travel buddy (he even drove!). Although yesterday's destination was Jemez Springs and beyond, this descanso along the road offered a compelling reason to stop, and the shifting light made for an especially emotional shoot. I'll need to start researching these, perhaps visiting local newspapers to comb through their archives, because each descanso embodies a deeply personal story that a photo can only hint at.

This one, for two people named Laura and Cordy, is clearly tended throughout the year but appears several years old; I find it visually interesting but also sad that the Madonna figure has had to be cabled and chained to one of the crosses. On the other hand, the presence of numerous figurines large and small suggests frequent tending and a good degree of respect for what this descanso embodies.

Edit, 1/29/12: Here's another version of the first photo, rendered in "Opalotype" filter of Topaz Labs' B&W Effects:

Local Color (20/366)

2012-01-21T13:13:00.000-07:00

Truck with a mission, Corrales, NM, Jan. 2012

Just a quick photo from my weekend ramblings. If I ever get home Internet access back (the ISP still can't figure out how to get us back online, and we have no other options except... satellite Internet... hmm) I'll be able to get my 366 blogging back on track. In the meantime, I'll just keep photographing whether I'm out and about or hibernating at home. I'm really liking the discipline of taking daily shots, and it might even be helping me "see" more photographically as well as sharpening my technical skills.

Pastoral Breakfast (19/366)

2012-01-19T23:48:00.000-07:00

Sandhill cranes, San Acacia, NM, Jan. 2012

Thanks to this 366 photo project I've been making an effort to incorporate photo shoots into my Albuquerque commute, and in most cases leaving home a half-hour earlier gives me plenty of time as long as I've planned where and what to shoot. Today my first two appointments cancelled, so I had plenty of time to stop in San Acacia (yes, the link goes to a commercial site; this is a great outfit!), an agricultural town 15 or so miles north of Socorro. San Acacia is at the southern edge of the Sevilleta NWR, and sandhill cranes seem to like grazing the dormant alfalfa and corn fields during the day. These birds migrate into the area in late autumn and leave in March, and although the most popular place to see them is the Bosque del Apache NWR you can find them in several other places along the middle Rio Grande.

I noticed them a few weeks ago during my morning commute and decided to make this a photo shoot, hoping the birds would cooperate and stay around the near side of this field so I could get some nice closeups. No, they replied indignantly (I would imagine), and before I could get set up they were off to the other side. I'll try again another time, with the camera pre-mounted on the tripod and ready to go, but in the meantime I got some okay shots, and I really enjoyed the spent standing at the edge of this pasture watching and listening to them.

Edit (1/29/12): Here's another, experimental version of the photo, rendered in the Opalotype filter of Topaz Labs' B&W Effects:

Local Color (18/366)

2012-01-19T22:51:00.003-07:00

Mural by Eddie Tsosie, Bear Mountain Cafe, Magdalena, NM, Jan. 2012

Magdalena has a reputation as an artists' town, and although the art economy here hardly compares to, say, Santa Fe, there is no shortage of talent in our area. A local cafe/gallery owner commissioned this mural last year and it is a wonderful addition to our landscape. I'll go in soon to get more information about the artist, Eddie Tsosie, and about this beautiful painting.

The great Internet-outage-ocalypse at my house continues, but that has compelled me to hang out at another local cafe in the afternoons that I'm not in Albuquerque working, and (as long as I can lay off their cheesecake) getting out regularly is a good thing.

Sobering (17/366)

2012-01-18T16:15:00.000-07:00

Descansos, Socorro, NM, Jan. 2012

These descansos, located in the city of Socorro, NM, mark where five people -- a woman and four children -- were killed by a drunk driver in 1996. The smaller crosses are set in the median of Spring Street/Highway 60, which is where the accident happened; the larger memorial is on the road's left shoulder and was created by the family and local metalworkers. If there was ever a testament to the losses inflicted by drunk driving, this and the too many others along our highways are it.

Roadside memorial, Socorro, NM, Jan 2012

My 366 project will be back on track soon; the photos are here on my MacBook, safe from marauding malware, and I hope to be back up to speed by tomorrow or Friday.

Edit, 1/29/2012: I just had to add this image, a wider crop of the top photo, rendered in Topaz Labs' B&W Effects "Opalotype" filter:

Home Is Where the Kitties Are (13/366)

2012-01-13T22:38:00.002-07:00

"I'm not upside- down; you are."

What could have been a difficult, perhaps humiliating day turned out okay, and as a bonus I got to have lunch with a person I like very much and then ride home from Albuquerque with my dear stepdaughter, who goes back to college tomorrow. When I came into my bedroom (where I intend to camp out most of the weekend) both kitties were snuggling on my bed, as always, and Max rolled over playfully as I pulled out my camera. So today's 366 photo is unabashedly cute, not terribly artistic, but unless I impose it on myself there's no rule saying I have to make every photo artistic, right?

Descanso de Belen (12/366)

2012-01-12T23:46:00.001-07:00

Roadside memorial, Belen, NM, Jan. 2012

This roadside memorial is one of the more moving I've seen so far. I noticed it last week while driving up to ABQ for internship. The cross has been there for a long time but the teddy bears and Christmas decoration are new, I think. I can't imagine what might have happened here; the two bears suggest a memorial for two people, perhaps children. I want to do more research, which may call upon my ethnography as well as my archival research skills. I'm not happy with the photo editing yet, but my PC (with Photoshop and my Topaz plug-ins) has been invaded by malware so this will have to do for now.

Rehab (11/266)

2012-01-11T19:00:00.000-07:00

Home reconstruction project, Magdalena, NM, Jan. 2012

I felt too chilled to be outside much today, so (confession time) I snapped this photo from my car on my way to pick the kids up from school. I pass this house many times in a week and have not seen much progress -- exterior, anyway -- in a long time. I find it remarkable that the stained-glass window remains intact amid all the decay. This was surely once a beautiful home, in what was once a thriving village. Yet a certain, deeper beauty remains, perhaps simply because it is still standing.

This evening I heard from a dear friend who had a serious brain injury 18 or so months ago and became essentially unable to communicate. We dated and (afterwards) became very good friends in grad school, and he is one of the smartest, funniest people I know. I was devastated when I heard what happened, so to get a note from him tonight felt like a miracle. I don't know yet where he is in terms of recovery or rehabilitation but I'm sorely tempted to drop everything and go see him, to catch up on old times and see what lies ahead. Rehabilitation may take a long time, and may never be fully complete, but it would be so wonderful to talk to and maybe even see my friend again.

Descanso 2 (10/366)

2012-01-10T23:48:00.001-07:00

So many final resting places along the highway.... Descansos are not actual graves but rather memorials set up at or near where a loved one left this earth. This one looks to be several years old, judging by the faded photo under the rosary, but is clearly well tended. I noted the locations of many more on my drive up to Albuquerque today and will be photographing them when possible.

Descanso near mile marker 213, I-25 northbound, Albuquerque, NM, Jan. 2012

Descanso 1 (9/366)

2012-01-09T18:01:00.000-07:00

Descanso (1999), Socorro County, NM, Jan. 2012

Descanso is a Spanish word that means "resting place" and refers commonly to a roadside cross or other tribute set up to memorialize a loved one's untimely death. In most states personal roadside memorials are forbidden or regulated and standardized, but in New Mexico descansos are ubiquitous and highly personal. The tradition has deep roots here, arriving with the earliest Spanish settlers in the 1500s, and is respected as part of the local heritage. I pass a dozen or more descansos on my twice-weekly commute to Albuquerque for internship, and I keep thinking I should stop and photograph them to document this local tradition. Today I decided to start with this one about 20 miles from home, which I pass going down and back up the steep, winding hill between Magdalena and Socorro. It is a sobering reminder of life's fragility but also a tribute to the beauty of our love for each other.

The Creative Exchange: After the Holidays

2012-01-09T09:21:00.002-07:00

In Memoriam, Magdalena, NM, Jan. 2012

For today's Creative Exchange I offer a photo and a confession: I don't really enjoy the winter holidays much anymore. The decorations are beautiful, and with two young kids I do my best to make a festive environment and build their anticipation and all that. But in addition to it being winter, which I just hate despite my best efforts to appreciate its quiet dormancy, I usually feel overwhelmed by the expectations, other people's and my own as well. I unexpectedly spent New Year's Eve alone this year (well, except for two big snoring dogs at my feet and two purring cats in my lap) because of a misunderstanding with the kids' dad; they were supposed to be with me but he took them to a gathering and didn't bring them back till after 1:30 a.m. As midnight approached, my Monkey Mind kind of freaked out because everyone knows you CANNOT be alone on New Year's Eve -- what happens at midnight sets the tone for the ENTIRE YEAR, right?? And there I was, all alone (except for my menagerie), and I was pissed off that not only were the kids not with me as expected but I could have made other plans, and really I was terrified because oh my GOD this means 2012 will be a huge disaster and I'll be alone forevermore, woe unto me.

Last year, I had a similarly quiet time; I was pretty deep in the process of mourning my mom, and the kids were with their dad, so I burrowed into my bed and watched movies all night. That part was okay, but it was very, very cold out and the water pipe from the village main to our house froze that night, so I had no running water for three days. That's definitely a sucky way to start a new year, and yet as 2011 unfolded some really amazing things began to happen, and I ended the year in a place far better than I could have imagined.

Expectations are rich fuel for Monkey Mind; as some people say, an expectation is a premeditated resentment, I think because it sets us up to be disappointed and to feel like we've been deprived of something. That said, I still hope my next New Year's Eve is a bit more exciting -- say, lounging in a tropical paradise with the love of my life -- just so I don't have to work quite so hard at convincing myself that it will all be okay. I am getting better at it... it only took me nine days to process all this and write it out so I could let it go and get on with the new year, a day at a time.

Self-Reflection (8/366)

2012-01-08T18:30:00.000-07:00

Self-portrait 1: Focused. Magdalena, NM, Jan. 2012

Today I joined another photo blogging project, {in the picture} (see the Flickr group here), to focus specifically on portraiture -- actually, self-portraiture, which... well, I much prefer being on the back side of the lens, so let's just call this a stretching exercise. It's a monthly thing, so not too much pressure, and God knows I don't need more than a dozen pictures of myself lying around. Really I see it as a chance to learn creative portraiture strategies, using myself as the subject so I can experiment more freely. And you only have to look at the few pictures that come out okay.... Of course, these might have been a tad clearer had I thought to wash my windows before photographing them.

Self-portrait 2: Distracted

This month's theme is "a piece of me," interpreted however we choose, and since none of the random body-parts images I took seemed remotely appealing I decided to go with these. The first, more obvious interpretation (to me): my camera is definitely a piece of me, all the more so since I started the 366 photo project. Perhaps a less obvious interpretation: our reflections are a major part of who we are: not only what (we think) others see but what we see in the mirror or the window or a photo. It's so subjective, really; some days we "look good," others not so much. I wasted way too many years not liking how I looked, and now I realize that how I "look" is shaped from within, through my internal lens. I can choose what to think and what to see. I'm hardly Julia Roberts, but for all I know she has her share of not-so-good days, too. So, yeah, choose to see beauty, all around you and within you, too.

I Heart Macro: Lichens

2012-01-08T12:58:00.003-07:00

Lichens on sedimentary rock, Magdalena, NM, Jan. 2012

The winter landscape always seems bleak to me, but on yesterday's walk this lichen-covered rock jumped out at me with its splash of unexpected color. Lichens are a symbiotic union of fungi and algae, and can adapt to and thrive anywhere from the arctic tundra to the arid southwest. They survive extreme drought by going into a sort of dormancy (termed a "cryptobiotic state"), coming alive again when moisture becomes available. This likely explains the flourish of color on the lichens pictured here; the foot of snow we got two weeks ago lingered and melted slowly, giving everything a long, cool drink of water and reviving the hardy lichens scattered across our plentiful rock formations. A lichen crust makes a fine offering for today's I Heart Macro; be sure stop over at Lori's site to see lots of other beautiful close-ups.

Who's the Pack Leader? (7/366)

2012-01-07T16:24:00.000-07:00

Riley's Treasure, Magdalena, NM, Jan. 2012

Here's a slightly gruesome set of images for you.... I wanted to take the dogs hiking in the mountains on this 58-degree day, but two weeks after our huge snowstorm the road up to Kelly is still muddy and even snow-packed in some places. So we went out to the property as usual, where the dogs kicked up two jackrabbits for a merry chase and Riley found what looks like part of a spine from some mid-sized creature. I'm thinking jackrabbit but it's hard to tell. He happily brought it to me and then lay down to devour it....

No, says Lucy, it's MY treasure now...

Then along came Lucy and the doggy dynamics got interesting. She challenged him -- no fighting, just asserting herself strongly as she nosed in on the catch. Riley snatched it up and tried to run away but Lucy challenged him again, halting him with a growl and easing up to him to carefully remove it from his jaws.

Riley tries to run away with his find, but Lucy stops him with a growl...

Despite being taller than Lucy and outweighing her by 10 to 15 pounds, Riley finally yielded. He sat as close as he dared and whined, and he had to be content with scraps after she finished. Lucy is definitely the pack leader here, mostly because she has been Top Dog since Riley showed up as a puppy last May. Dominance is a peculiar thing; it's not always lack of size or strength that makes us powerless, but simply the belief that we are.

...and then makes him watch her chew it up.

Graveyard's Edge (6/366)

2012-01-06T13:58:00.000-07:00

Graveyard Fence, Magdalena, NM, Jan. 2012

Not much to say today except that I'm grateful for a sunny, warmish day, my camera, and the beauty around me. Some stuff got triggered yesterday so I think I need to turn inward and deal with it. "Physician, heal thyself." My prescription for myself: rambling, photography, music, movies, sunshine, solitude. No better place to find solitude than a graveyard, unless you believe in ghosts. Which I don't, not as external manifestations, anyway.

A candle in the window (5/366)

2012-01-05T23:50:00.001-07:00

Still life with candle, bell, and mosaic, Magdalena, NM, Jan. 2012

Put a candle in the window
Cause I feel I've gotta move
Though I'm going, going
I'll be comin' home soon
Long as I can see the light
-John Fogerty, "Long As I Can See the Light"

This was a very, very long day. The agency was jammed with suicide assessments today so I had absolutely no time to sit, think, or even eat -- I had to eat an apple walking between sessions and ate my lunch at 6pm, just after my third client session and before my third assessment session of the day. I know I can't fix everything these kids and their families are going through in 90 minutes, but I do want to do more than simply "assess risk" so I've begun to try to make these sessions a place for people to pause, breathe, think... and gather enough support and energy and hope to keep going.

How timely, then, this Daily Om missive in my email tonight: "We cannot bring to the world what we do not have to offer. Peace starts in our own minds and hearts, not outside of ourselves, and until its roots are firmly entrenched in our own selves, we cannot manifest it externally. Once we have found it within, we can share it... we help the world most by practicing the art of choosing peace within."

Sunset Song

2012-01-04T20:38:00.001-07:00

Sunset in the Village, Magdalena, NM

The sky turns to fire
Against a telephone wire
Burns the last of the day down
And I'm the last one hanging 'round
I'm waiting on a train track
And the train never comes back
And even I'm getting tired
Of useless desire
-Patty Griffin, "Useless Desire"

Sort-of Spring (4/366)

2012-01-04T16:15:00.000-07:00

Fresh Water, Magdalena, NM, Jan. 2012

I'm liking the discipline of picking up my camera every day for my 366 project. Today I had more time and the 50-degree weather begged for another run on the property. I felt drawn towards water: Dad and his friend Doc rigged up a spring of sorts, running a pipe from the well (which has a solar-powered pump) to a dirt tank so the horses and other animals would have water year-round. This photo shows the outlet at the pond's edge; the pipe is buried 18 inches so it runs even in cold weather.

Undeterred by the cold, the dogs strode right into the water to drink and play. I was happy to watch, and as I sat quietly and the dogs moved on, birds started gathering in the nearby trees and flitted back and forth to the water's edge to drink. No photos of them yet; soon I'll be a bit better equipped thanks to the recent Ebay sales of my D3100 and the 55-200mm lens...

Winter Shadows (3/366)

2012-01-03T21:26:00.000-07:00

Tree and shadows in sepia and selenium, Albuquerque, NM, Jan. 2012

I took all of three photos today, and none are very exciting so I tried to amp things up with some post-processing shenanigans including a Topaz B&W Effects filter called Sepia & Selenium 3 and a Topaz Detail filter called Soft Looking. It was my first day back to work (internship) in Albuquerque and despite four of six clients cancelling (they're apparently not as ready to jump back into work as I am) it was still a busy day and I only had a moment before sunset to grab a photo. I don't love being indoors all day, but I do love my work, and I love my colleagues for their great company and humor and insights and wisdom.

Winter Coat (2/366)

2012-01-02T17:57:00.000-07:00

Precita meditating on the mountains, Magdalena, NM, Jan. 2012

Today's ~~365~~ 366 shoot took me out to the property, where the dogs got a much-needed run and I communed with our friend Doc's horses. They seem to be weathering our stormy weather just fine; I wish I could be as stoic, but then again I don't have a plush winter coat like they do.

Given how much snow we've had in the past month -- over two feet -- I wasn't surprised to see some major patches left despite several sunny days in the 40s and 50s. The ground is very muddy now, seemingly more so than after any of the summer's rains. This bodes well for spring growth, as long as the winter storms don't go away altogether.

All your chewies are belong to me

2012-01-01T23:55:00.000-07:00

"I'll be taking that stick now," says the 5-pound baby dachshund to the 95-pound toddler mastiff

I just had to share these pics from our puppy play date on Friday. The kids got a dachshund puppy, Blue, at their dad's house a few months ago, and she is a real character. The kids bring her to my house sometimes, and as mismatched in size as they are she and Riley are now BFFs after a few play dates. Watching them play is comical, all the more so since Blue constantly steals Riley's bones and sticks and chewies and Riley protests like a little kid whining for Mama, apparently not realizing he outweighs Blue by a factor of 20 or so. What a great lesson in dog play and behavior and dominance; it definitely is not just about size or strength.

"But that's MYYYY bone," whines Riley.

Happy New Year (Day 1 of 366 Photo Project)

2012-01-01T23:10:00.000-07:00

Home fire (with ghost kitty?), Magdalena, NM, Jan. 2012

I'm going to try to do a 365 photo project this year (actually, it should be a 366 project since it's a Leap Year). I haven't in the past because my Inner Perfectionista gets upset when I don't do things exactly as they're "supposed" to be done. This year, I will just do my best, and I will also take my camera with me wherever I go, when possible. This is something I want to do anyway to expand my vision and shooting opportunities.

Today's theme (which I might try to spin into the week's theme): Keep the home fires burning. I love having a fireplace, as messy as it can be, and I work hard to keep it filled -- splitting, stacking, and hauling in wood, stocking a few days' worth in the garage for stormy weather, and cleaning out and dumping the endless ashes. It's worth the work both for the ambiance and the savings; while the fire is burning the heater almost never goes on unless it's 10F or colder outside. A wood stove would be much more efficient, so that might be one of next year's home improvements. In the meantime, the dogs and cats and kids and I get plenty of time together during the winter as we gather around the fire every evening. That is priceless.

Do-Over: Two Trees

2011-12-30T12:52:00.000-07:00

Two Trees at Sunset, Bosque del Apache NWR, Oct. 2011

It is sunny and WARM (mid-50s) today, so I'll just be a moment before heading outside with the kids and the dogs. Based on feedback I received on the original posting of this photo, I've been wanting to re-process the image to give the trees more "breathing room." I know I tend to crop in too closely, probably fearing that details (like the bird perching atop the dead tree above) will be lost in a larger image, but really the point of landscapes seems to be large ideas rather than small details. I still need to work on that. Meanwhile, here's the revised image, and I do indeed like it much better than my earlier version. I always appreciate feedback, including constructive criticism; nothing like another set of eyes to offer a different perspective.

Ice, Ice, Baby

2011-12-27T01:05:00.001-07:00

Icicle detail, Magdalena, NM, Dec. 2011

Icicle at sunset

I never imagined an icicle could look so... alluring.... So my "Appreciate Winter's Unique Beauty" series continues thanks to bountiful ice and snow. Our weather has been off the charts lately; the first official day of winter brought us our fourth winter storm, and this one was a monster for us in central and western New Mexico. The scenery is amazing, though, and just the icicles on my house (now melted) provided some great images. The photo above is not a macro (that would have given better clarity but I couldn't find my macro filter in the Christmas mess) but rather a close-up taken from the image at left. It still has some very cool details and looks like a glass sculpture of a woman's body. I was shocked to see that my camera managed to capture the icicle's surface frost and interior bubbles. More Photoshopping would surely clean up the detail in the reflections, and I'll be looking harder for that macro filter now that I see what this camera is capable of.

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-25T15:43:00.001-07:00

My crocheted gingerbread house

What A Real Pro Can Do

2011-12-22T16:16:00.000-07:00

Rosy Finch in a whole new light

I asked a friend to help me learn more about Photoshop and bring a bit more "art" to my photos, and WOW did I learn a lot. Watching a professional work was a great experience in itself, and to come up with this result, which may or may not be "finished" (I think it's already fabulous), was beyond what I'd hoped for. So, what am I gonna do during my vacation (besides finally finish my course project)? Play, play, play! And, not that I need another reason to want to hang out with this great person, but hey, I'm sure I'll need a refresher course soon. Next up: a re-do of the hummingbird pictures; thanks to your feedback and my great tutelage I have some ideas of how to make them... outstanding? Well, I'll try.

Post-Processing Experiments: Hummingbird Images Revisited

2011-12-20T01:06:00.001-07:00

I am staying up way too late these days playing in Photoshop, lately with the Topaz B/W plug-in. Working with the latter I am finally breaking free of my visual literalism (or whatever you'd call it) to consider what other elements of an image besides stark realism might express the essence of the subject. I always want the most crisp image possible and recall being disappointed when I first opened these images; without a ridiculously expensive fast telephoto lens, hummingbirds are close to impossible to capture "perfectly."

Last night I opened three hummingbird images I took during the summer and started abstracting them; the results were nice, but... still very realistic. Tonight, having had so much fun earlier with today's bird images, I opened the hummingbird images again and went further into abstraction. The blur works here; especially in the top photo I marvel at the clarity of the little dude's eye and head/neck feathers.

I still need to work with the tinting; I see these as a series, perhaps matted or at least hung together, and think the color should be consistent among them. But I can't decide between a warmer or a cooler tone... what do you think?

Birds at Play

2011-12-19T16:42:00.000-07:00

Rosy Finch, Digital photo in Opalotype style, Magdalena, NM, Dec. 2011

Dark-eyed Junco

It is still snowing here in Western New Mexico, and it is lovely. I refilled the bird feeders this morning, knowing my little buddies wouldn't be able to get to much of their natural food thanks to our heavy snow today, and here they are, giving me and the kitties a wonderful show. The front feeder has been taken over by doves, who drop enough feed on the ground that I'm hoping some quail will come by later. I don't see them often because I live in town and many dogs roam around, but when the weather keeps the dogs (and people) hunkered down the quail probably feel safer coming out from their brushy cover.

Female Finch

We have a feeder in the back yard, too, and I moved it closer to the sliding glass doors in the living room so I could get some good shots of them feeding and fussing. I used my 55-200mm zoom lens for these images; I was going to sell this lens because I've never been impressed by its optics but decided to hold off to see if it gave better results with the new camera. These are good enough for now, I think. I processed them as always in Photoshop, then ran them through the Topaz Labs B/W Effects filter to add a vintage feel by desaturating (though I never can bring myself to eliminate the color altogether), adding grain and vignettes, and so forth. These images are all done in the "Opalotype" style, which mimics an early photographic process of printing images directly on milk glass (also called opal glass). Like many black-and-white prints opalotypes were often hand-tinted with just a blush of color. I'm in LUVVV with this style, so please bear with me as I work it to death in the next few processing sessions....

Mr. and Mrs. Finch at dinner

The Creative Exchange: Snowfall

2011-12-19T13:50:00.000-07:00

Midnight Snow, Magdalena, NM, Dec. 2011

I'm linking up with Lisa and friends at The Creative Exchange, always a showcase for amazing and unique photography. We've had storms blowing through one after another for the past few weeks now, which wouldn't seem unusual for most people this time of year. But I live in New Mexico, and when I tell people in other parts of the country about our snow they exclaim, "But how is that possible??"

I'm no fan of winter weather, but if this recent trend signals the end of our wretched La Nina cycle of the past year and some, I can live with it. For a while.

Intimate Landscapes: Glass Chile, Revisited

2011-12-19T00:15:00.000-07:00

Hand-blown Glass Chile, Magdalena, NM, Dec. 2011

Oh, my. The new camera does indeed have a better sensor, providing a much clearer, less noisy image. I had to do a lot less processing to bring out the clarity in this image than I did on those in my previous glass chile post, and good God look at those colors.

I think winter will be a bit more bearable now. Huge thanks to my dad for giving me this camera for Christmas, and for believing in my photography.

Intimate Landscapes: Old Rugged Cross

2011-12-18T13:23:00.002-07:00

Rusted Iron Cross Detail 1, Magdalena, NM, Dec. 2011

It's cloudy and raw outside, so the kids and I are staying in... and trying not to get on each other's nerves. (They're annoyed with me at the moment because I won't climb a rickety ladder to try to hoist the 45-pound fake Christmas tree out of the garage rafters....) Today's diversion: photography, with my new camera and the f1.8 35mm lens, and stuff around the house that looks cool in the low winter sunlight.

Rusted Iron Cross Detail 2, Magdalena, NM, Dec. 2011

This cross came from the store/gallery I owned and ran till 2007; I bought it in Juarez in 2006 from an ironworker who had accidentally discovered after a freak rainstorm that his beautifully made crosses looked even better with the rich rusted patina that grows on iron after it is exposed to the elements. This cross looks just divine hung on a whitewashed adobe wall, but since I don't currently have such a wall I can make do with an old tapestry for the backdrop.

Rusted Iron Cross Detail 3, Magdalena, NM, Dec. 2011

I Heart Macro: Morning Frost

2011-12-18T00:15:00.000-07:00

Light Morning Frost, Magdalena, NM, Dec. 2011

Close-up of Heavy Frost

Time for I Heart Macro! What a winter we've had already -- two major storms so far and another due on Monday -- and it's not even technically winter yet. Two mornings ago the frost was so heavy on my windshield that it took almost 10 minutes of blasting hot air through the defroster to clear it off. I did think to grab a few photos (including the one in my previous post) with my early Christmas gift, a Nikon D5100 that is a step up from the D3000 I've been using for the past year and a half. The D5100 offers a better sensor and much better light sensitivity, and although I haven't yet figured out most of the settings I was able to grab some pretty cool frost photos while waiting for the car to heat up. The second photo shows a close-up of much larger frost crystals; I ran the image through Topaz Labs' B/W Effects for a quick enhancement and may play around with some tinting later on. I have a sad feeling I'll be getting lots of frost and snow images this winter... yes, we need the precipitation, but I can live without the cold and the inconvenience of being stuck at home when I'd rather be out working or playing.

Winter's Bone

2011-12-17T18:50:00.001-07:00

Looking up through morning frost, Magdalena, NM, December 2011

"I prefer winter and fall, when you feel the bone structure in the landscape - the loneliness of it - the dead feeling of winter. Something waits beneath it..."
-Andrew Wyeth

I don't agree with the "prefer" part of this quote; I much prefer the lush abundance of summer and the easy living that comes with the long, warm days. Winter drives me indoors, away from the sun and fresh air, and the short days leave me slightly bereft, especially in these weeks around Winter Solstice. Winter's Bone, a stark depiction of loss and redemption in rural Missouri, highlights both the cold, grim harshness of midwinter and the bone-deep resilience we summon to survive it. I'll be calling on my reserves a lot this winter and will also be hoping for a trip someplace warm before long to refill the well....

Slouching Toward Solstice

2011-12-14T22:55:00.002-07:00

The days are short,
  The sun a spark
Hung thin between
  The dark and dark.

-John Updike, "January"

Post-Processing Experiments: Toning and Tinting

2011-12-12T15:46:00.000-07:00

Dog stole my chair.

No running water thanks to an unexpected hard-enough freeze. More snow on the way. And then I go to sit by the fire, one of winter's few pleasures (for me), and my seat is taken. Fine then, I'll just go crawl into bed and hibernate. I think bears hibernate not just to save energy but to spare themselves the inconveniences of winter. Maybe I'm projecting a bit....

I used a flash on this photo, the effects of which I always end up hating, so I ran it through Topaz's B/W effects plug-in and took away most of, but not all of, the color. Riley is a bit out of focus, something to check more carefully next time.

Quiet Morning

2011-12-10T09:41:00.001-07:00

Winter orchids, Dec. 2011.

The Dark of December

2011-12-07T06:30:00.000-07:00

Fuchsia in bloom, Magdalena, NM, Dec. 2011

I posted this poem about a year ago, and it bears repeating as we in the Northern Hemisphere slump toward the darkest day of the year.

I heard a bird sing
In the dark of December
A magical thing
And sweet to remember.

"We are nearer to Spring
Than we were in September,"
I heard a bird sing
In the dark of December.

-Oliver Herford

We do get "real winter" here in New Mexico, USA, but thankfully we also get a lot of sun, which I can enjoy all winter thanks to two large south-facing sliding glass doors. Last year I packed trays of greens and then seed starts onto open shelves in these sunny spaces, a successful endeavor I plan to repeat along with overwintering some tender perennials I can't bear to leave to the elements. Fuchsias have always been among my favorite plants. They're a bit temperamental -- they need conditions that are not too hot, not too cold, not too sunny, not too dim -- but I persist in growing them and did quite well with this plant on the shady front porch this summer.

As cold weather descended, I decided to see if it could overwinter inside, and so far, so good. I took these shots with my 35mm f1.8 lens, which is getting a lot of use these days because I'm snowed in and bored almost to tears because, really, I'm not much of a homebody. I want to be outside. All the time, or close to it, or at least by an open window. I did make it outside for a while yesterday to sweep and shovel snow, dust off and bring in wood for the fireplace, and play with Maggie and the dogs just before the sunset, which probably kept me from losing my marbles altogether.

We are nearer to spring....

Fuchsia buds, Magdalena, NM, Dec. 2011

Snow Day

2011-12-06T12:28:00.001-07:00

Sleepy pup, Magdalena, NM, Dec. 2011

We got 10 inches of snow up here yesterday, followed by a biting cold front that drove the temperature down to -5 by midnight. This all made for treacherous roads (even major lengths of I-25 were closed until late this morning) that probably won't be safe to drive for another day or so, so I had to cancel on five clients today and am trying to keep from going crazy with cabin fever. The dogs and the cats are all bouncing off the walls, literally except for Lucy, but every time I open the door to let them out they rear back and glare at me as if to say, "What is this -- make it WARM!" I guess I could catch up on paperwork and coursework and cleaning, but I'd much rather be working with clients and socializing with colleagues after several days of being housebound. Maybe the dogs and I will walk around town so I can get some photos and they can, well, sniff everything like dogs do, and run and play, and burn off some energy. I guess winter is really here, dang it.

Still Life in Glass and Geode

2011-12-05T07:00:00.000-07:00

Hand-blown glass chile on geode fragment, Magdalena, NM, Dec. 2011

One benefit of staying in on a wintry day is looking closely at everyday objects and figuring out ways to see them differently. I used my somewhat neglected 35mm f1.8 lens for these shots; it's a very fast lens, which I don't really need outdoors, and the shallow depth of field that happens at such a low f-stop doesn't work well with moving critters or wind-tossed flowers. Yesterday, stuck indoors in low light, I had a chance to rediscover its versatility and unique perspective. I gave this glass chile, made by an Albuquerque artist, to my mom two years ago, and the geode fragment came from a hike I took way up into the Magdalenas last summer. Nothing compares to natural light, and the weather was so volatile today that these shots, taken maybe five minutes apart, show an entirely different sky in the background as clouds tumbled from the mountains into town.

I Heart Macro: Staying In

2011-12-04T15:26:00.001-07:00

Angel Wing Begonia, Magdalena, NM, Dec. 2011

Last winter I gave myself the assignment to explore winter colors and textures, and though I doubt I'll ever grow fond of the season I did enjoy gaining a new perspective on its subtle natural beauty. This year I'm revisiting the assignment and, for now at least, will be exploring what might be termed "intimate landscapes," that is, the small beauties I find and create within my and others' homes this season. This shot was just what I was hoping to present for this week's I Heart Macro. The begonia plant, still a baby, was a cutting from a dear friend's plant (hers is easily 6 feet tall) and has graciously decided to begin blooming just as winter finishes off the last of my tender flowering plants outside. I got some other nice indoor shots today that I'll share during the week as I find time to Photoshop them. I hope you all have a good week.

"Limited Edition" -- Yeah, that's it.

2011-11-28T20:15:00.001-07:00

Riley the cock-eared, knock-kneed, bigfoot mystery mutt, June 2011

Still a cock-eared bigfoot goofball, and we love him for it

I saw a great sign today: "You're not weird; you're a limited edition."

I will totally be using that line with my clients this week, especially the teenagers.

Not that being "weird" is a terrible thing, right? Kids call each other weird as a put-down (adults do, too, but usually behind each other's backs because, you know, we're so much more civilized than mere children), and everyone is afraid of being "weird." Yet the most memorable, approachable, endearing people (and animals) I've known have all been "weird" as in different, unusual, quirky, eccentric.... Maybe it's something a person can better appreciate in others as well as self with age and wisdom. I find it fascinating that "weird" is also a noun that derives from an old Scottish word meaning destiny or fate -- it seems fitting, given that some people, at least, move away from "normal" as they age and free themselves to explore and express their unique selves.

Ballad of a Runaway Horse

2011-11-27T16:43:00.000-07:00

Precita, Drago, and Blaze roaming the range, Magdalena, NM, June 2011

Since June I've had the great pleasure of being able to go out to my dad's property north of town not only to let the dogs run and enjoy the stillness but also to commune with a small band of horses belonging to friends. It has taken some time to get to know them, for them to trust me and for me to tune into and read their cues so I don't scare or push them away. Now, even if I forget to bring them treats, they seem pleased to see me and usually walk with me and the dogs for a while before heading off to graze on their own. They are proving to be very therapeutic company both for their calm, centered presence and as occasional mirrors for issues I can't see or understand using my "rational," word-dependent left brain.

La bella Precita

Precita, the lone mare in the group, was skittish with me in the beginning and I had to approach her slowly, but over time her trust has grown and now she's usually the first one to find me and the last one to wander away. Sometimes when I'm standing or sitting among the horses she comes up to me and gently nuzzles my hand or even rests her big mug on my shoulder. Other times she comes up and nudges me, then dances away with a little crow-hop and buck as if to say, hey, loosen up -- find your Inner Mustang and play a little, or just bolt and run, whatever it takes to get away from that dust devil kicking up in your head. No words, no analysis, just play for a change.

Today Precita trots up to greet me and nudges my arm just as I'm focusing my camera on a nice shot of near-twins Blaze and Drago mirroring each other perfectly. I'm still feeling raw about something that happened yesterday, and I'm so intent on getting a perfect photograph -- what, am I on assignment from National Geographic here? -- that I push her back and she snorts, which startles Drago who looks like he might break the mirror pattern. Prescita once again nudges me gently and, annoyed that the camera gets shaken again, I put an elbow to her jaw and exclaim "Git!" She rears back from me and then puts her head down by her hooves to rub it, and it's then that I see the chunk of half-dead cholla caught in her mane just behind her ears, the long thorns likely digging deep into her neck. I realize Precita is in fact trying to tell me something important. I can't "hear" her because my head is churning with my own stuff that compels me to callously bat away this creature who simply wants to stand near me and, by the way, would I be so kind as to remove this awful thing digging into her neck.

Just as I reach up toward her, Precita turns tail and bolts up the hill, stopping for a moment to buck the living crap out of some imaginary demon riding her and yanking the reins and spurring her flank raw, then charges over the crest and out of sight. I thought, wow, that's some hell of a tantrum, girl. A hour or so later, as I'm sitting on a rock watching the other horses graze, I feel a soft nudge at my shoulder. I slowly raise my hand to her and she nuzzles it gently, standing quietly behind me as if to say, okay, I'm done now, I'm back, we can be friends again. And finally, I get the cholla out of her mane.

I'm glad she trusted me enough to come back, eventually.

I know that sometimes we forget how to use our words.

And sometimes we just don't want to use our words. Sometimes bolting and bucking and running far away feel so much better than stammering and struggling to say just the right words. We run away just to get it all out, just to say, fine, you weren't really listening anyway so to hell with you. (For now.)

Humans can be really dumb sometimes. They ignore or mistreat or take for granted those who care about them, four-legged and two-legged, then wonder why they get left behind in a cloud of dust. A few wise ones ponder their part in what happened, wait and hope for their runaway friend to come back, and do their best not to callously provoke another galloping tantrum. I understand why Precita runs: she's been penned up and reined in hard and spurred raw, and she never wants to go there again.

A True Companion

2011-11-26T19:15:00.001-07:00

Lucy on ranch patrol, Magdalena, NM, Nov. 2011

Shy

2011-11-26T07:00:00.000-07:00

(I know just how you feel, Ed.)

Stormy Weather

2011-11-25T22:35:00.001-07:00

The horses have grown their winter coats, and not a moment too soon as cold storms begin blowing across the plains. We got a bit of rain here last night, but the precipitation mostly hung around in the mountains and left a good amount of snow to brighten up the view. I took the dogs for a long run today and visited the horses today to make sure they have flowing water (they do) and just to stand with them in stillness. Blaze let me lean on him for a good while, sheltering me from the brisk winds and occasionally nuzzling my pockets for treats. All I had was an apple Larabar, but he seemed quite pleased with the exchange. As was I.

Post-Processing Experiments: Color and Exposure

2011-11-17T23:30:00.001-07:00

Devil's Weed (altered photograph), Magdalena, NM, Nov. 2011

I posted the "realistic" version of this Devil's Weed pod a few weeks ago but kept thinking it needed something.... So tonight, having had a LONG day and an unexpected long drive home (but much-needed for both myself and my girl child who was really missing her mama tonight), and feeling very far from calm or sleep, I thought I'd put on some music and play with some images in Photoshop. The image above started out with an accident: while working with a "hue" slider I slipped it way too far to the right, then... hmmm. And then, to the left... whoa, that's kinda cool. Then Monkey Mind woke up in a kerfluffle and I had a moment of, Oh, no, that's TOO FAR out there -- totally not believable -- what am I thinking -- let's just go back to realistic, shall we.... Just then, this line played through my headphones and, given that I have the music cranked up to GOODGODWOMANAREYOUFREAKIN'DEAF, I did manage to really hear it:

and if I close my mind in fear
please pry it open *

And so I kept playing, letting my fingers slip and slide across the color palettes and exposure settings, recklessly prying open my safe ideas of "realistic," and soon I realized I was letting go of the day's stresses and disappointments and my expectations and rules and everything else that walls me in when I allow it to. What is "realistic," and what's so sacred about it that I give up the freedom to play and have fun and just let the process go where it will, even if it goes someplace I'm not expecting to go?

I don't care whether this image is "right" or not. I think it's pretty cool.

* lyric from "The Outlaw Torn," Metallica {why, yes, I do listen to heavy metal sometimes...}

Post-Processing Experiments: Tone and Texture

2011-11-16T09:24:00.001-07:00

Bosque Sunset, Bosque del Apache NWR, NM, Nov. 2011

A great conversation with some artists recently inspired me to push myself out of my comfort zone in photo processing. I tend towards realism, which makes photography a perfect medium for me (not to mention I can't paint or draw worth a plugged nickel), but sometimes a photograph captures a moment that might be better expressed less literally, more figuratively... I'm not sure what the best words are to express this, so I've spent the past few days playing visually to see how I respond on a gut level to various effects.

I saw right away that this photo in its raw form was kind of flat; the composition was okay, the detail was pretty good but not good enough to zoom in (have I mentioned that I'm dying for a fast telephoto lens? Next year, perhaps), and the color was good but not striking enough to carry the image. So I applied Photoshop's black-and-white filter, which was okay but not fabulous (I do much prefer color to B/W -- my own visual bias), and then slowly ramped the color back up and added sepia and selenium toning (using Topaz Labs' new B&W Effects, which is a fun and fabulous Photoshop add-in) to "antique" the image. This seemed to bring out the snow geese, which helped me realize that I didn't really have one stand-out focal element in this image -- oh, pretty birds! oh, pretty trees! oh, cool lines! -- and that perhaps this is what I struggle with most in landscapes.

So, food for thought. Please feel free to offer whatever feedback you have on this image; it's definitely a work in progress. I'm really enjoying the process of experimenting and letting go of the idea that I have to create a "perfect" image, and I'm open to suggestions and inspiration.

Mi Familia

2011-11-14T17:56:00.001-07:00

My brother visited last month and enjoyed some family time, some adventure time (a motorcycle trip to and into the Grand Canyon with Dad), and lots of autumn sunshine. His departure was delayed one day because of that crazy snowstorm that charged up the East Coast... yo, bro, I think it's a sign. Dad took this picture of us in Box Canyon (aka The Box), about 10 miles west of Socorro, and I just had to shake my head looking through the shots because my boychild is intentionally making a goofy face in every single one.

One day, he will regret that.

:-D

Ramblings with Riley

2011-11-11T20:23:00.001-07:00

I haven't had much time for photo processing lately, but I try to at least look through my recent photos every few days to see what stands out and play a bit. I love this evening shot (above) of Riley because it really highlights his huge feet, and as he begins filling out (showing his Mastiff side a bit more every day) he is becoming a very handsome dog. He's not easy to catch standing still; the shot at right is much more typical of him, especially when we're out on the property. That morning he thought it would be fun to dash into the pond, roll around and get good and muddy, then run full-tilt towards me -- there's a wake-up call for you. He is a handful but is also a big sweetie, and I'm very glad Dad rescued him for us.

Miracle

2011-11-07T23:00:00.002-07:00

Cosmos, Nov. 2011, Magdalena, NM

This amazingly hardy and beautiful cosmos greeted me this morning, having weathered several hard frosts over the past few nights, and it seemed a perfect symbol for this particular day that I call my re-birthday. Three years ago today I finally let go of a "coping mechanism" that I sensed was doing me far more harm than good. As my mental fog lifted I began to see and hear and feel so much more clearly -- and so much better -- than I imagined possible. Things I struggled with began to make sense, or to simply fall away as unimportant. I began to learn how to deal with events and situations and learn from them, and move on, and I began to feel strong enough to face rather than duck discomfort and uncertainty. I turned inward and found my core; now I turn outward to really live this life I've been given and to be there for others as others have been there for me. "Cosmos" refers to entities ranging from this cheerful flower to the whole universe, but the term (from the Greek kosmos, "order") also connotes harmony, which manifests in every living thing that emerges miraculously from the darkness and chaos of not-living.

Days Like This

2011-11-01T23:59:00.000-06:00

My Favorite Pumpkin, Magdalena, NM, Nov. 2011

Any day that starts with a few moments of sunshine in the garden is already a good day, and yet this day managed to get even better. The seeds sown during my past few years of slow, persistent, sometimes imperceptible effort and transformation have finally begun to bear fruit, and I saw it so clearly today when a client facing some pretty major challenges told me he was beginning to realize that no one is helpless, that even when he has no idea what to do he keeps trying anyway, and that whatever happens he will know he did his best and never gave up. He didn't get this from me or from a book or some spiritual guru; he found it within himself. What a daring journey to embark on, trekking deep into the wilderness of heart and soul; some days I feel like a sherpa, and it feels like a huge privilege that people ask me to walk with them during their travels.

Studying Contrast

2011-10-30T20:49:00.000-06:00

Two Trees at Sunset, Bosque del Apache NWR, New Mexico, Oct. 2011

I'm in the middle of bedtime madness with the kids, but I just had to post one of my favorite shots from today's trek to the Bosque del Apache National Wildlife Refuge. I might finally be getting the hang of landscapes... maybe because I've given up trying to follow The Rules and just shoot what I like. As I began working with and cropping this image, I realized that it really needed to stay near-centered, which breaks the sacred Rule of Thirds, because... well, it's about two trees, it's about contrast, and to me this is what the picture needs to look like. I'm pretty sure I'll look at it five years hence and see how I could have done it "better," but today, yeah, it's one of my favorites. The color in the Bosque right now is stunning, and while the Sandhill Cranes and Snow Geese have returned for the winter, the crickets and cicadas and other "singing" bugs are still there to amp up the auditory experience.

Drought

2011-10-30T10:43:00.003-06:00

The appropriately named Devil's Weed (Datura stramonium), Magdalena, NM, Oct. 2011

Not much to say today, but I wanted to participate in I Heart Macro this week (I find everyone's entries so beautiful and inspiring, especially this dandelion) so I grabbed a shot of a native plant that seems to embody the harshness of our ongoing drought. Today the kids and the dogs and I will be heading down the hill towards water, to hike along the Rio Grande bosque (wetlands) where the cottonwoods are deep gold, the tamarisks are brilliant auburn, and the Sandhill cranes are starting to settle in for the winter. I hope you all are having a wonderful Sunday -- to East Coast friends and family I send a good thought for digging out of that nasty cold white stuff....

Embracing Change

2011-10-29T10:17:00.002-06:00

Cold Front, Magdalena Mountains, Oct. 2011

As predicted, a major cold front swept into New Mexico this week, bringing a strong chill, snow up north, and amazing cloud formations. On my way out of town on Thursday morning I had to pull over to catch this shot; I was entranced by how the clouds embraced the ridge, draping the canyons as if protecting their wildlife from the sudden chill. And then, the ravens; the image at left is a crop from the one above. I fervently wish I had a fast, crisp long lens (300mm zoom at least) to really capture the detail instead of having to over-process the image to bring it out... but this will do for now.

Harvest Time

2011-10-21T23:40:00.000-06:00

Final Harvest, Magdalena, NM, Oct. 2011

October is incredibly beautiful here in New Mexico, with the deepest blue skies, golden sunshine, changing leaves... and of course it's a bittersweet time for any gardener because it brings frosts that slow and finally still the garden. Here's one of my last harvests of this wonderful, colorful season: plum and heirloom striped tomatoes, tomatillos, purple bell and yellow banana peppers, and fiery cayennes. Salsa, baby. Not that I've had much energy given my schedule and commute, but this weekend I hope to make and can some serious salsa and tomato sauce, and also bake with some of the wonderful pumpkins I pulled out of the garden earlier this week. What I'll miss most about this year's garden, which is now all but gone: wandering the rows and stuffing myself with cherry and pear tomatoes as I gathered produce for the next few days' meals. Methinks a greenhouse is in my future....

Shadow Self

2011-10-15T11:54:00.001-06:00

Self-portrait (with Apache) in sun and shadow on raw dirt. Magdalena, NM, Oct. 2011

I don't like neglecting my blog, but you know how it is when things press in and choices have to be made. I had to start ramping up my internship hours this week, which means more time in and commuting to/from Albuquerque, so I can finish the program next June and finally start working for money in this new career. Marital/family therapy seems like a great fit for me. And I have lots of ideas for making the career my own with twists like canine and equine therapy for kids (and maybe adults) with PTSD, therapy retreats for couples and families, that sort of thing -- somewhere down the road. In the meantime, I'm working, learning, and taking care of myself and my kids and animals, including spending as much time as I can out on the property in the open air. I love it when the horses come out to greet us, and the dogs take off after rabbits, and the kids start running and climbing and howling like banshees and just letting off steam. If I could build a house out there right now I would, because it is where I find peace almost without effort: I just have to stand for a moment in the stillness, and my soul settles. What a treasure.

Drinking It In

2011-10-05T22:08:00.001-06:00

Hollyhock bud after the rain, Magdalena, NM, Oct. 2011

Double rainbow in the Magdalena Mountains, Oct. 2011

Yesterday was a day of thick clouds and steady rain that gave trees and grasses and perennials a much-needed drenching before the weather turns cold. It revived my flower gardens that are bestowing a final burst of color on us, and today I noticed new cilantro seedlings around the herb bed just in time for that final batch of salsa. As frost approaches -- it's quite possible we'll get at least a light frost this weekend -- I feel (as always) that I just haven't had enough time in the garden. I will especially miss wandering through the rows with Maggie, both of us eating handful after handful of cherry tomatoes and little pear tomatoes; I had planted five or six different varieties to hedge my bets, and they all produced quite well. My favorites: the orange cherry tomatoes -- even sweeter than the red ones, which themselves were hard to beat. Summer is just never long enough for me.... Another gift yesterday: just before sunset, the sun broke through low clouds to give us a beautiful double rainbow. Enchanting, as always.

Turning Towards Autumn

2011-09-26T13:29:00.000-06:00

Los Girasoles de la Acequia (photo abstraction), San Acacia, NM, Sept. 2011

Reflection... makes me quiet. I'm resting (short break from internship), catching up on personal time, hiking, riding, doing some pre-winter cleaning up and clearing out, and resting some more. I've been photographing the change of seasons and today spent some creative time altering a photograph I took during a meandering walk one evening along the acequias down in San Acacia. These communal irrigation canals date back many generations and allow farmers to share the scarce water that flows through this land. As the season turns toward autumn these canals often abound with sunflowers, giving us a last burst of summer color before the seasons of harvest and rest. I bid you all a beautiful turn of the seasons and leave you with this evocative poem from Jimmy Santiago Baca, a New Mexico poet whose words speak to both current events and timeless themes.

Sometimes I stand on the river bank

and feel the water take my pain,

allow my nostalgic brooding

a reprieve.

The water flows south,

constantly redrafting its story

which is my story,

rising and lowering with glimmering meanings—

here nations drown their stupid babbling,

bragging senators are mere geese droppings in the mud,

radicals and conservatives are stands of island grass,

and the water flows on,

cleansing, baptizing Muslims, Jews and Christians alike.

I yearn to move past these days of hate and racism.

That is why this Rio Grande,

these trees and sage bushes

the geese, horses, dogs and river stones

are so important to me—

with them

I go on altering my reptilian self,

reaching higher notes of being

on my trombone heart,

pulsing out into the universe, my music

according to the leaf’s music sheet,

working, with a vague indulgence toward a song

called

we the people.

-Jimmy Santiago Baca, from Winter Poems alongthe Rio Grande

Bead Soup Blog Party!

2011-09-17T00:01:00.000-06:00

Harvest Dance necklace; focal and toggle clasp by BSBP partner Barbe St. John

I love this resin and brass cowgirl toggle that Barbe made!

Thanks to a LOT of hard work by Lori Anderson, the Bead Soup Blog Party is here! As always, I had a great time working with the treasures that BSBP partner Barbe St. John of Saints and Sinners sent me; above is what I made from the awesome focal, toggle clasp, sari silk, and autumn-hued beads that Barbe picked out for me. I added in some striped glass rounds I found at Michael's the day before I got Barbe's package; the rest of the beads are from her and I still have some left over! Big thanks to Barbe for being so generous and for nudging me enough out of my comfort zone that I decided to just cut loose all expectations and play. Barbe, I hope you had fun with what I sent you, too, and thank you again, especially for the extra-special Albuquerque Wanderlust pendant! (I'll be showing that off soon; I'm composing a special piece just for me...)

Thank you, too, for visiting -- now it's time to blog hop! Go here for the full list of participants and their partners -- I know, that's a LOT of blog hopping, but you will love what you see! Enjoy the eye candy!

The Creative Exchange: Chile Season

2011-09-07T20:39:00.001-06:00

Chile pequin ristras at the Hatch Chile Festival, Hatch, NM, Sept. 2011

Farmers roasting green chiles; red chile ristras drying. Hatch, NM, Sept. 2011

Time for the Creative Exchange; my theme this week is harvest season. Here in New Mexico I find the chile harvest especially enchanting because of the sight, smell, and taste of the various chiles grown here. New Mexico green chiles have a flavor unlike any other pepper; the mild ones are sweetly aromatic, and the hot varieties have a sharp heat tempered by that same aromatic flavor I've never tasted in any other pepper. Once the harvest begins in late August, vendors set up roasters like the one shown at right to blister the skins and give the chiles a smokey-sweet flavor. The scent is out of this world, and whether you thought you were going to buy some or not suddenly you find yourself craving them. Some chiles are left on the plants to ripen, then dried (in Hatch we saw roofs covered in chiles -- what a great idea) and woven into traditional ristras to be hung in the kitchen for easy reach when making red chile sauce, posole, and other dishes.

The Hatch Chile Festival draws people from all over to southern New Mexico to try the various chiles in salsas, relishes, sauces, and, my new favorite, hand-cranked ice cream with green chile. It's definitely the best place to buy ristras both for quality and for price; I only bought two of the multicolor pequin ristras shown above, but of course now I wish I'd bought some of every kind and color. Vendors sell lots of other goods too, including cookbooks (I've been wanting one with lots of green and red chile recipes, including chile jelly for canning), knick-knacks, fine art, jewelry, and chile-themed accessories. I really wanted a pair of the chile sunglasses this girl was wearing, but she had the last pair, so I asked if I could take her picture instead and she happily agreed -- her mom offered to sell me that last pair but I couldn't take them from this sweet kid! All in all it was a fun day, even if chile harvest does mean summer is almost over.

...and growing, and growing...

2011-09-05T14:04:00.000-06:00

Riley and Lucy enjoying a water break from a Magdalena mountain hike, Aug. 2011

Lucy and Riley, May 2011

Remember this little guy who was dumped on our road one night and took refuge under my dad's car? Four months later, two weeks shy of his six-month birthday, he is as long as and almost as tall as Lucy, has a bigger head and paws than she does, and is closing in fast on 60 pounds. He's still rambunctious and a bit destructive but has a happy, sweet disposition and is smart enough to learn IF we're consistent with our discipline. And he's an awesome hiking buddy, mostly running with Lucy but also circling back to check on me if she takes off after a rabbit or deer. On our first vet visit she said he was most likely a boxer-mastiff mix, and his huge feet, big bones, and heavy jowls certainly seem to be expressions of his mastiff parentage. He is still growing in discombobulated bursts; one day we'll notice his head suddenly seems huge (the wide-angle close-up image below doesn't seem too far off from reality, except that his feet are actually much bigger!), and a few days later he'll suddenly seem taller. It's a bit disconcerting because we could have a REALLY big dog on our hands in a few more months. Even so, both both boxers and mastiffs are amiable and loyal, and mastiffs do mellow out as they grow up, so I have no doubt he'll be a great companion for a long time to come.

"Whatcha doin'?" I love this funky distorted shot; it's so... Riley.

I Heart Macro: Picking Pretty Purple Peppers

2011-09-03T23:05:00.001-06:00

Purple Bell and Yellow Banana Peppers, Magdalena, NM, Aug. 2011

This year's garden has given me so much pleasure and joy, and now it's giving me gorgeous, delectable produce that I not only get to eat but also get to share. These peppers, though, I kept for myself and the kids, and of course to photograph for this week's I Heart Macro. I don't have much luck with peppers here at 6,800 feet, but this year I used black landscape fabric to both warm the soil and hold in more moisture, and that really helped. A few days ago, when I saw that the purple bell peppers were ready to pick, I took Maggie with me out to the garden to let her pick them for us. Her eyes lit up when she saw three perfect purple peppers. And when I set our harvest out for some still-life shots, Maggie asked if she could compose and photograph a still life, too. So here it is, and it sums up perfectly how we feel about our garden this summer.

Maggie's Garden Bounty Still-Life

I Heart Macro: Carrot-Tops

2011-08-28T01:15:00.000-06:00

Carrot seedhead, Magdalena, NM, Aug. 2011

Photo-processing time has become rare lately, but tonight I am up very late (even later than usual) watching Hurricane Irene tear up the East Coast and awaiting news from my family and many friends around Philly and New York of how they're faring. So this week's I Heart Macro post is all about carrots -- the part of the plant we rarely see, which I had fun photographing earlier this week. In recent years I've started letting a lot of my root and leafy vegetables and herbs go to flower (despite traditional horticultural recommendations; no surprise there) because the flowers are often very pretty and unusual, they're attractive to good bugs, and the seeds help me keep the garden going on a tight budget. I find carrots especially fascinating, from the first fluffy flowers to the spiky, resilient seeds that can catch on a shirt cuff or a cat's tail and start a new carrot colony far from home.

Carrot flower, Aug. 2011

We all know that carrots have beautiful fern-like foliage that, sadly, is inedible, but when left to flower, a carrot also sends up a stalk that puts out a huge, showy white flowerhead that is busy all day long with all kinds of bees, wasps, butterflies and moths, and ladybugs. This may help explain why I never have to worry about low pollination or aphid infestations in my garden these days; in fact, I wonder if this is a bigger factor in "companion planting" (mixing herbs and flowers in with vegetables) than the specific plant combinations selected. Bring in more good bugs, and more good stuff happens in the garden -- how's that for horticultural good sense?

Pollinated carrot flowers turning into seeds, Aug. 2011

Developing seeds, Aug. 2011

As the flowers fade and go to seed, the head changes in fascinating ways, leading to the seed clusters shown at right and at the top of this post. They look so cool but also a little creepy, like a swarm of baby centipedes or something. I haven't bought carrot seeds in years, though, and having started with a non-hybrid variety I know I won't have to as long as I'm willing to "sacrifice" a few carrots every year. (Confession: it's pure neglect, or at least it was the first year I let some carrots go to seed; now I get to call it "seed saving" and feel all eco-conscious or whatever.) As you can probably guess from the photo at right, I have let more than a few carrots go to seed this year. I have had plenty to spare, though, and I just love watching the process unfold through the seasons, even all the way through winter as the seeds left out in the garden finally fall with the melting snow and plant themselves in the damp earth.

Carrot seedhead (the Mothership for part of this year's patch), Jan. 2011

No Place Like Home

2011-08-27T12:27:00.000-06:00

Ed at sunset, Magdalena, NM, August 2011

Black swallowtail caterpillar in the dill patch, Aug. 2011

Oh how I love my home, as remote as it is, and my big garden and that view out on the "ranch" are just two reasons among many. Two weekly 200+ mile roundtrips to Albuquerque are starting to wear me out a bit (hence the lack of blogging lately), but I am absolutely loving internship -- every learning, growing, stretching, inspiring, rocking moment of it. Even the "failing" moments, those times I have no idea what to say or do next, have become great learning moments for me for two reasons: I generally suck at failing, meaning I never really learned how to handle it well because it was not "allowed"; and I suck at asking for help, which everyone needs to do sometimes so as not to fail again, or worse. This week especially I got some "practice" with these as well as core counseling skills, lucky me, and it was a timely lesson because I could feel my mind oscillating between, "Cool, I got this" and "Oh crap, what would I do if that happened??"

Zinnia among the fennel, Aug. 2011

I also love the drive home; I find every one of those 120 or so miles essential for processing the day's learning experiences, for unwinding, and for letting go of all the things I couldn't control or worried about or "failed at" or whatever. The drive up, I don't love that so much because that's when I worry, and I also just want to get started on the day, but my iPod playlists and podcasts keep me calm and well entertained, and I also get to contemplate the beautiful summer landscape.

Summer is almost over. Did I really just notice last night that the sun is a bit lower and is setting earlier, that the alfalfa fields along the Rio Grande are being cut and baled, that some growers are already selling and roasting green chile? The Blogger editor wants me to spell that as "chili" but that's not how we spell it in New Mexico, and if you've never had roasted green chile, well, it is an integral part of late summer and early autumn out here. Farmers and vendors set up in parking lots and sell sacks that you can take home and roast yourself or that they'll roast in big metal hand-cranked roasters for a bit more money. That smell... well, I'll get some pictures over the next few weeks, but you'll have to come out here in person to get the full sensory experience. And good luck trying to go back home once you do....

Fusion Beads Blog Bead Challenge!

2011-08-19T15:21:00.001-06:00

August Garden necklace in brass, glass pearls, pressed glass, lucite, and Swarovski crystals

Earrings in lucite, crystal, brass, and glass

WOW did I have fun with Fusion Beads' recent blog bead challenge -- it introduced me to a color palette and materials I hadn't really worked with before, and I found myself energized by this combination. I've been ordering from Fusion Beads since 2007 and love their selection of beads and components, as well as the free shipping. I really hope they host more bead challenges because I just wasn't feeling creative lately, until I received the materials for this and started playing. Check out the other entries on their blog or Facebook page -- all of the entries are beautiful, diverse, and totally making me want to order another set and play some more!

Overview of "August Garden" set

I Heart Macro: A Moment in the Garden

2011-08-14T13:48:00.001-06:00

Ladybug on dill blossom, Magdalena, NM, August 2011

Last night I realized I haven't been taking creative time for myself lately, so I vowed to kick off this week with a morning photo session in the garden. I spent almost an hour out there and came up with so many beautiful shots that I couldn't decide which one to post for this week's I Heart Macro... until I opened up this image in Photoshop. Catching bugs, butterflies, birds, and other mobile creatures is always a challenge, so I remind myself to just keep shooting until I happen to capture the creature looking fabulous. It's much easier (and more palatable from a resources standpoint) in digital to snap the 10 or 20 (or more) shots needed to get just the right angle and movement and light AND focus; last week's butterfly shot was the 27th of 32 shots (that was one patient butterfly!), and I wasn't even sure I'd caught it in clear focus till I opened the image file. The ladybug above only gave me 5 shots before flying away, so I know I got lucky on this one.

As always there are lots of beautiful entries for this week's I Heart Macro -- check them out and leave some love!

Summer Skies

2011-08-07T14:00:00.000-06:00

Nighthawk at sunset, Magdalena, NM, August 2011

Reason #843 I love photography: I can't paint. Tonight's sunset was beautiful even if not splashy and neon, but just after the sun fell below the horizon it splashed color across the clouds that stopped me in my tracks. The texture and colors of the clouds made me think of the ocean, perhaps because my grandfather created similarly colorful, detailed skies in his oil paintings of 18th-century clipper ships. He grew up near the ocean and spent many vacations in "Down East" Maine, where his family came from, but I think if he'd ever come out west he would have found the skies here just as enchanting.

Sweeping sunset

I Heart Macro: Painted Lady

2011-08-06T22:13:00.005-06:00

Painted Lady butterfly on Liatris spicata

I'm back in time for I Heart Macro; I had to take a bit of a blogging break in part to enjoy summertime and in part to begin adjusting to two 200-mile round trips to Albuquerque per week for internship. The drive is fine except for the busy interchange from 25 onto 40 on the way up; the drive home is easy (not much traffic at 7 or 8 pm) and gives me time to process the day. And every mile, every hour on the road is completely worth it -- it is an amazing learning and growing experience.

Today I finally picked up my camera again, just in time to catch this beautiful butterfly feasting in my front perennial garden. These flowers, known as gayfeather, seem to be a buffet for all kinds of fauna from bees to wasps to butterflies to goldfinches. Summertime is divine, this year as always, and now that the rains have begun both flora and fauna are flourishing. I hope you're all able to take some time out to really enjoy your summer!

Missing

2011-07-27T07:00:00.000-06:00

Mom with Lazarus, Sept. 2002, Philadelphia

Dad, Mom, Laz, and Maggie, May 2008

One year ago today I awoke before dawn and raced 100 miles north to catch the earliest flight out of ABQ so I could be at my mom's side in Philadelphia as she died. In my mind every moment of that day, especially her final struggling moments, stands starkly apart from the rest of life. As the mental shroud of denial mercifully draped over me in the days that followed, I recall both breathtaking pangs of loss and a sense that she was just out on an errand and would come through the door at any moment. I remember thinking at some particular moment that I was doing okay, then I would hear someone speak of cancer or see a pink/blue/purple awareness ribbon bumper sticker and just dissolve. Awareness? All too much, all too keening, really to the point of paralysis because Mom's cancer bore down mercilessly, swiftly felling any thin shoots of hope and scorching bare the earth that bore them.

One year later, I feel I have mourned -- not completely (no such thing, I believe), but mindfully and thoroughly, to arrive at wherever I'm "supposed" to be after this first year. I still dream of her mystical reappearance. I still lament not only my own loss but the kids', and the flourishing gardens she does not gaze upon, and my new internship experiences we do not discuss, and my graduation next year she will not witness. I lament the loss of time with her. Do I honor her by lamenting? Probably not, because as I read through some poetry last night this verse jumped out at me as essentially Mom. So I'll honor my own process by continuing it and I'll honor Mom by posting this as a tribute to the joyful, colorful spirit that dwelled within her and remains with us.

Lament me not, but sing songs of youth and joy;
Shed not tears upon me, but sing of harvest and the winepress;
Utter no sigh of agony, but draw upon my face with your
Finger the symbol of Love and Joy.

Disturb not the air's tranquility with chanting and requiems,

But let your hearts sing with me the song of Eternal Life;

Mourn me not with apparel of black,

But dress in color and rejoice with me;

Talk not of my departure with sighs in your hearts; close
Your eyes and you will see me with you forevermore.
-Khalil Gibran, "The Beauty of Death"

In Summer Time

2011-07-23T21:57:00.002-06:00

Sunset over Magdalena, July 2011

O time of rapture! time of song!
How swiftly glide thy days along
Adown the current of the years,
Above the rocks of grief and tears!
'Tis wealth enough of joy for me
In summer time to simply be.
-"In Summer Time," Paul Laurence Dunbar

The Magdalena Mountains are open again for hiking thanks to a few good soaking rains over the past two weeks, and now I really feel like it's summer. Of course I can hike any time of the year, but ascending a thousand or more feet into a mountain forest makes for a wonderful retreat from summer heat. It's also a great vantage for capturing a sunset; tonight's made me think of a scene in some old religious movie when the sun breaks through the clouds and angels sing and the Voice of God bellows out The Truth. I have been missing "my" mountain hikes a lot, perhaps because as the first anniversary of my mom's passing approaches I feel growing anxiety and reawakening of those lost feelings I had during the weeks before and the months since her death. I spent a lot of time in these mountains last summer and fall, finding much solace in the cool air, the exquisite beauty, and the absorbing rigors of hiking. This evening, I felt that same peace flow through me as I pushed myself up a steep rocky grade with a friend and now with two canine hiking buddies... and when I saw this sunset, I guess I did have my own inner "Hallelujah" moment. Summer returns. Joy returns. Song returns.

"This is the land the sunset washes..." *

2011-07-22T23:35:00.003-06:00

Sunset after a summer rainstorm, Magdalena, NM, July 2011

With the summer monsoons finally ramping up, we have clouds in the evening that make the sunsets even more wonderful than usual. Last night's sunset (above) was intense and colorful and complex, the pink glow from the setting sun seeming almost like crochet around the edges of the roiling clouds. Tonight's sunset, which I did not capture, was softer, with a far-off rainfall cutting right through the pink glow as the sun sank behind the Bear Mountains. Memo to self: always, always bring my camera, even on what I think will be a routine walk with the dogs. I love watching sunsets; I love sharing them with you even more.

* Quote by Emily Dickinson

The Creative Exchange: In This Moment

2011-07-18T13:08:00.001-06:00

Blaze contemplates the setting sun. Magdalena, NM, July 2011

I'm rejoining The Creative Exchange, having lapsed not because I didn't enjoy it but because spring and summer activities have distracted me from regular blogging. But we all need creative time, right? So I hope to get back into the weekly routine and thank you for visiting. It's been a quiet week out here in western New Mexico's high country, where we're anxiously waiting for more rain. I'm especially anxious because despite last week's downpour the Stage 3 restrictions continue in the Magdalena Mountains, which means no hiking. So I feel all the more fortunate that we have property just north of town that, while not mountainous, offers some open, rolling space for stretching our legs and airing out our minds. Having a friend's horses and mule out there makes it even more enjoyable to visit; if I bring carrots or other treats, I have not only canine but also equine walking companions. We're a bit of a motley crew, perhaps, but a happy one.

I see more riding in our future, perhaps this week -- I'm still riding Blaze, Dad rides Damacio (above on the left), the kids ride Goliath (above right), and their friend rides Prescita (below right) and is thinking of buying her but keeping her with her "herd." Our friend the hunting guide rides Ed (below left), who is sweet-natured but a bit feisty and thus not yet a suitable mount for me or Dad till we gain more confidence and skill. Also part of this herd is Drago (not shown here; he was shy yesterday), who is also sweet but a bit undernourished at the moment and needing some riding rehab. The goal is for Maggie to stay on Goliath and for Laz to move up to Damacio, who is currently Dad's mount... well, in good time. For now, we're all getting to know each other, learning or relearning how to ride the range, and waiting for rain.

I Heart Macro: More Garden Visitors

2011-07-16T17:48:00.005-06:00

Backyard box turtle, Magdalena, NM, July 2011

Time for I Heart Macro, and as usual I find plenty of inspiration in my back yard. I didn't know that turtles have brown eyes, did you? This one does, anyway; she lives in our backyard now, having announced her presence last week by striding across the back patio to help herself to Riley's food and water. Silly puppy, he didn't know what to do -- he yipped at her, but when she stuck her neck out and hissed he stepped back and sat down to watch. She isn't shy, that's for sure. (And while she might be a "he," I'll go with "she" for now because it's easier...)

Ants on purple wildflower (aster?)

I can't believe I missed I Heart Macro last week, but it has been busy around here lately. Riding in the Old Timers Parade was a huge highlight for the kids, and on Tuesday I started internship -- the final phase -- for my masters program in marital/family therapy. It went really well and gave me a major confidence boost that I've been needing lately. Despite having soldiered through two and a half years of intense graduate coursework with a 3.9 GPA, a big part of me wondered whether I had what it takes to translate all that theory into effective, compassionate counseling that could make a difference in people's lives.

I know I have a lot to learn over this coming year. I also really know now that I can do this, and that I have come a long, long way from the completely broken person I was in September 2008, and that all that brokenness and putting back together are at least as valuable as the coursework in creating the therapist I hope to become in the next year and beyond.

Singing and Dancing in the Rain

2011-07-11T17:56:00.001-06:00

Maggie walks through the first real rain of the season. Magdalena, NM, July 11, 2011

Finally, the rains started in earnest today. We had a few minutes of light rain this morning, but the clouds hung around and then about an hour ago the skies opened up and gifted us with the deep soaking rain we've needed so desperately these long dry months. My fearless Maggie jumped up and ran right outside, coming back in for an umbrella just so she could see better through the downpour and make her way to the "rivers" running down the street. I'm so glad I handed her the bright pink umbrella... This photo is by far my favorite of the year.

The Other Side of the Lens: New Old Timers

2011-07-09T23:42:00.004-06:00

My little vaqueros, in the only photo I took today

Today was the big day: Dad, the kids and a friend, and I rode in Magdalena's Old Timers Parade! A while back Dad arranged with a local hunting guide and outfitter to graze his horses on our land north of town, and in exchange he has been taking us on short rides to get us used to the horses (I rode constantly as a kid but until a few weeks ago had been on a horse all of 3 times in the last 20 years) and to lead up to longer rides later this summer. Somehow the subject of the Old Timers Parade came up... and there we were today, with me on the other side of the camera for a change!

Dad, looking like a pro riding the steadfast Damacio, led Laz and Maggie on Goliath the Imperturbable Mule

To be honest, it was a lot of fun but also a lot more work than I'd anticipated. The cars, buggies, and other horses in the parade and the big noisy crowds along the route provided far more commotion than the horses are used to, and most people who don't ride have no idea how sensitive horses are to their actions. I sure am now; I've been riding Blaze, one of our friends' stalwart pack and guide horses, and his usually calm self dissolved into a skittering, prancing hot mess as the noise level and crowds grew. The kids' friend was on the paint mare Prescita, who is a bit high-strung but usually sweet-tempered, but who just about jumped out of her skin (and out from under her thankfully-experienced rider) as it all pressed in on her. Big kudos to her for handling Prescita so well and keeping her cool.

The big sis of Maggie's BFF rode the very skittish Prescita, who reared in the middle of Highway 60, and I rode my usual steed, Blaze, who decided to be skittish as well -- we had our hands full but stayed the course.

Dad and the kids had much calmer mounts, and we all made it through by staying calm and focusing on the riding even as we smiled and waved to the crowds. I did have to mouth off a bit (my mama-bear side does come out sometimes) to people who drove or rushed way too close, and I rode right up to the Forest Service trucks to ask them not to blare their horns and sirens, something they'd done in parades past.

When we got home, we posed for a "dress" picture and then I retired into the A/C to shower and watch movies the rest of the day -- fittingly, The Missing (set and filmed here in New Mexico) was on and I got to enjoy some serious horse action, this time from the comfort of my cool lounge chair....

Dad, Laz, and me lookin' all western (Dad kindly let me wear his dress hat... don't know if he'll get it back...)

Wonder Pets: Riley at 14 Weeks

2011-07-08T18:25:00.004-06:00

Cock-eared puppy! (Riley's ears are uneven because someone or something tore part of his ear before he came to us.)

Riley and Lucy... she is still boss, no matter how big he gets.

Riley's third vet visit yesterday went well; he got his third set of shots and weighed in at 37 pounds, up from 22 a month ago and 9 pounds two months ago. He is three and a half months old, and he weighs almost as much as a large sack of dog food. Whatever mystery mix of muttness he is, he's gonna be a BIG dog -- his paws are now larger than Lucy's. He is incredibly rambunctious but also sweet-tempered, and he sticks close by when we're out roaming the hills. I must admit I have given up on house-training him for now (we're all too busy to keep an eye on him), so I rigged up the perfect setup for summer: his kennel is in the dining room right against the sliding door, which is left open enough for him to enter and exit the kennel so he can be in the backyard whenever he wants and sleep "indoors" at night. I just can't deal with him in the house peeing and chewing and chasing the cats and stealing the kids' toys, but we get plenty of social and training time with him since we're outdoors so much. This setup gives me another few months to house-train him, before it gets cold....

BTW: Cloudy with a Chance of Spiders

2011-07-06T13:58:00.002-06:00

Hobo spider checking out my beads... not really; I offed him -- look at those fangs, wouldn't you off him too??

Time for Bead Table Wednesday; there's a random title for you, eh? It is cloudy here in New Mexico today, which means our monsoons are gearing up and should arrive just in time for Magdalena's Old Timers Reunion this weekend. The "spiders" part of this title comes from the large, leggy creature that stalked right across my body at 1:00 this morning and landed squarely on my beading tray when I whacked it with my slipper. I rarely kill spiders (I am indeed one of those "get a cup! don't hurt it!" people), but this creature looked a bit too much like a Brown Recluse (*shudder*) for me to let it skitter away under my covers. Looking up spiders this morning (*shudder* again) I discovered it's too large to be a Brown Recluse and is more likely a Hobo Spider, also known as the "aggressive house spider." They do bite when "cornered," such as when a sleeping person rolls over on them, and while not fatal the bites can cause tissue necrosis and a wound that won't heal for months. I've seen two in my bedroom in the last few days, and that is SO not okay with me, so... dang it, time to do a deep cleaning.

Ocean charm bracelet in progress; I won't use the turquoise but like the color combination

In the meantime (if you're still reading and haven't run off batting away imaginary spiders), I'm working on a charm bracelet with shells, pearls, shell birds, and glass, and it needs a great ocean-themed focal piece. I thought about using a turquoise chunk but really want something more thematic (but not kitschy), perhaps in ceramic or metal. Any ideas?

Los Caballeros

2011-06-30T12:26:00.001-06:00

Doc, Lazarus, and Dad riding the range

I went riding again today for the third time in two weeks and am really starting to feel comfortable in the saddle again. Lazarus went with me and Dad this time; he's been on a horse before but is still getting comfortable with it, so he rode Goliath the mule and Doc led him for the first half of the ride. Then he felt comfortable enough holding the reins and rode the rest of the way on his own, and said he really enjoyed it. I guess I did, too, because Doc said I was smiling big the whole time. I still am.

BTW: White Hot Love

2011-06-29T17:14:00.000-06:00

White Hot Love necklace of Gaea ceramic focal and beads, riverstone, red ceramics, and copper

White Hot Love bracelet

I'm finishing a good number of projects these days -- maybe even more than I'm starting! Now there's a shift.... I was going to show these pieces off anyway, but in the context of my semi-organized bead tray that shows what else is coming out of this color combination. However, I left my camera, with this week's Bead Table Wednesday pictures, up in the mountains, where I've had the pleasure of housesitting for the past 10 days. I ported my little lap tray and several boxes up there with my tools, and have sat down to work on projects for all of two hours, so there isn't much to show there anyway! I did finish off the wonderful "Confetti" bracelet I showed here last week, and I'm 90% sure I'm keeping that one.... I also made some pretty earrings that match the necklace above and the bracelet at right; the necklace focal is one of my favorite Gaea creations, and I added in creamy riverstone, awesome red ceramic beads from a great vendor I'll have to look up, and copper -- I had started with brass but it seemed dull, and sterling was just too "cold," so I decided to heat things up with the warm copper and just love this combination! Now I'm off to see what's on everyone else's table this week -- happy creating!

First Sunflowers

2011-06-28T22:46:00.000-06:00

Sunflower bud, Magdalena, NM, June 2011

Volunteer sunflower from last year's stand, Magdalena, NM, June 2011

Sunflowers are the happiest flowers in the garden, and every year I try to plant some both for their beauty and to hang the dried heads in the backyard so birds can feast over the winter. This year they planted themselves for me -- a good thing because I was so busy expanding the veggie garden to feed a family of 47 or so. These beauties bloomed yesterday, which was also the first day we got any rain for over 6 weeks. It was literally just a sprinkle, but it's heartening to see the clouds start building up as our essential monsoons (rainy season) approach. Quite a few wildfires have sparked in just the last few days, including the Las Conchas Fire near Los Alamos that grew from a few acres to 43,000 acres in less than one day. The Cerro Grande Fire of 2000 grew to 48,000 acres total and devastated the town, but even with the new fire pushing 60,000 acres and still uncontained, crews have so far managed to protect the town and Los Alamos National Lab. So far.

The downside to the building storms is that lightning can easily spark fires in our bone-dry forests; three started nearby, about 20 miles southwest of town, during lightning strikes yesterday afternoon. So we're holding our breath as storms continue to develop but bring little rain. And I continue to tend my little oasis, which teems with birds and good bugs seeking refuge from the drought.

Black-seeded sunflower near birdfeeder, Magdalena, NM, June 2011

I Heart Macro: Purple Coneflower

2011-06-26T20:50:00.000-06:00

Detail of purple coneflower (Echinacea purpurea), Magdalena, NM, June 2011

This week's I Heart Macro post is short because my Maggie is sitting right at my elbow waiting for me to finish so she can use the way-cooler version of MS Paint that's on this computer. Creative little thing that she is, I can't say no, especially when she's being so patient.... I got some nice close-ups this week with my macro filter and hope to post more tomorrow. Thanks as always to Lori at Studio Waterstone for hosting this wonderful weekly event!

Fire It Up

2011-06-25T16:47:00.000-06:00

Necklace of heat-treated carnelian, pearls, copper, and fiber (in progress)

It's been way past 90 degrees (F) here in Magdalena most of the week and near or over 100 in Albuquerque and other Rio Grande valley areas, and I'm totally okay with that. Heat makes me lazy and sleepy in mid-afternoon, like it does most creatures, but I seem to get a special energy boost late in the evening once it cools down. That makes summer nights a great time for me to get stuff done, including jewelry making. I'll also admit that I decided a few summers ago not to ever, ever complain about the heat here (back east, with the humidity, is a different matter) because I spend most of the winter complaining of being cold, and really I can't spend the entire year bitching about the weather. I hope you're enjoying this summer weekend (or winter, if you're down under)!

What a Difference a Month Makes

2011-06-23T16:23:00.001-06:00

The southwest tomato-pepper bed, on May 23 (left) and June 23 (right)

Well, this took one month, 16 Walls-O-Water and tomato cages, a few yards of black landscaping plastic, and twice-daily drip irrigation with organic liquid fertilizer.... And I deem this a highly successful garden experiment so far: every tomato plant in this bed is over 2 feet high and already bearing blossoms, and the peppers are well over a foot high and also bearing blossoms. Even last week's dessicating hot winds didn't slow these guys down; aside from a few "burned" leaves above the WOWs, everything looks great. Fingers crossed, I'll be harvesting AND selling tomatoes in another month or two, maybe alongside peppers and tomatillos for perfect homemade salsa!

Here's another interesting comparison: the photo at left shows plants in another tomato bed where some have WOWs and others don't (I ran out of money and had to space them out). What an incredible difference! These are the same tomato variety, in the same soil, on the same watering and food soup schedule, and the protected plants are more than three times the size of the unprotected ones. The unprotected ones look like most of the tomato plants I've had here in past years, stunted by chilly nights (even when it's 95 degrees at noon it could be 45 at 3 a.m.) and our brutal spring winds. The plants in the WOWs look like tomato plants I've had elsewhere, under much friendlier conditions. Again, fingers crossed that these actually bear fruit....

BTW: Confetti!

2011-06-22T08:13:00.001-06:00

Confetti bracelet (in progress) in faceted millefiore glass and antiqued brass

One good thing (and there really is only one, that I can think of anyway) that comes out of a windy, smoky weekend is time spent indoors beading. I made lots of earrings last weekend, finished two necklaces (the faceted gemstone ones I had laid out last week), and started this colorful bracelet that I just love and may have to keep for myself. I found the faceted millefiore glass beads at Michaels about two months ago and snapped up the last two strands, knowing I would find some use for them eventually. For a while I was trying out a bead here and there, just to accent various designs, but they never quite worked and that's when I realized they all wanted to stay together in one fabulously sparkly piece. Now, of course, I want more; if Michaels was less than 100 miles away I'd have run over there several times by now, but I have to wait for a more substantial reason to make the trip to Albuquerque, and hope Michaels still has these in stock.... So, what's on your bead table this week?

Summer Solstice

2011-06-21T13:32:00.001-06:00

Bee on blanket flower, Magdalena, NM, June 2011

What better way to celebrate the summer solstice than in the garden? The bees agree and are buzzing around madly; late in the day I see many plunged head-first deep in the flowers, seemingly asleep or maybe just drunk on the nectar. It is a lovely summer day, sunny and fairly calm, no smoke... bring on some rain and we'll really be in heaven. I bid you all (in the Northern Hemisphere, anyway) a beautiful solstice and a wonderful summer.

I Heart Macro: First Fruits

2011-06-19T12:50:00.000-06:00

Interior of pattypan squash blossom, Magdalena, NM, June 2011

Baby pattypan squash and bud

Back to the garden for this week's I Heart Macro post -- it is windy YET again today, so I couldn't stay out there for very long without getting totally aggravated. I did, however, manage to get some close-ups of the first fruits of this year's garden labors: baby pattypan squash! I used my 18-55mm Nikkor kit lens with a Zeikos macro filter to pull out some super-closeup details, and although the wind made shooting difficult the sun was bright enough that I could use a high shutter speed. The wind did do me one favor: it tossed about the blossom shown above and below such that it opened up and freed a bee that was pollinating it, giving me perfect light for an interior shot. I love shooting plant closeups because so much surprising detail emerges, in this case the tiny hairs and water sacs on all parts of the plant, even the seemingly smooth baby squash. And morning light is perfect for backlighting, which brings out veining and other details that get lost in simple direct light. So that's it for today; I'll be staying inside, yet again, waiting for rain....

Pattypan squash blossom, post-pollination, Magdalena, NM, June 2011

Just Another Smoky Sunset

2011-06-18T21:21:00.001-06:00

Sunset over Magdalena through the Wallow Fire smoke plume, June 2011

Out here in western New Mexico it is still hot, windy, dusty, smoky... Last night I kept looking outside at the deep red sunset and thinking, gee, I should get my tripod, but I was too lazy. So tonight I was prepared, and I'm glad I made the effort (which really was minimal) because the wind and smoke pretty much kept me inside today. The Wallow Fire in eastern Arizona is up to half a million acres but is now almost 40% contained, even with moderately high winds this weekend, thanks to the absolutely heroic efforts of the 4000 firefighters and others working to tame this beast. It's still raging, for sure; people in the western New Mexico town of Luna have just been ordered to evacuate because the Wallow Fire jumped a hard-won containment line in that area. Several fires have cropped up within New Mexico, too, including a fast-growing wildfire northeast of Santa Fe (downwind of that beautiful city, thankfully, but nonetheless nerve-rattling), which is leading to restrictions and closures of National Forest areas such as the Sandia Mountain Wilderness in and east of Albuquerque.

Rain, please.

BTW: Treasures Unearthed

2011-06-15T13:48:00.002-06:00

This week on the bead table: Flowery dangly sparkly earrings!

I love Bead Table Wednesday for many reasons: I get to see what other people are working on and how they organize their workspaces, it allows me to really think and learn about the creative process, and it compels me to take a hard look at and maybe organize my beading area a bit because, really, who wants to show off a big mess? A funny thing happens when I clean up my beading area: I find stuff I forgot I had, or vaguely remembered having, or absolutely knew was somewhere in the mess.... When I cleaned up my bead table last week I unearthed a treasure trove of sterling silver findings and beads that I had set out into trays and cups for specific projects, then lost track of as I shifted to other projects and let things pile up. I thought I remembered stocking up on sterling earwires, headpins, spacer beads, and clasps last fall when silver was surging past $15 per ounce, but given how busy my life is my memory of such things isn't always reliable... So when I got an order for some sterling earrings a while back, I couldn't find a dang thing and figured, well, maybe I thought about stocking up and didn't get around to it because, sheesh, $15 an ounce??....

Project on the table: Hill Tribes silver trumpet
flower pendant with faceted amethyst, pearls

Also on the table: Hill Tribes silver rose
pendant with faceted garnet, pearls

Now that sterling silver is hovering around $35 to $40 an ounce (Thunderbird Supply shows the daily market price), I am over the moon to find the 50 pairs of sterling French hook earwires, 20 pairs of sterling leverback earwires, 200 sterling headpins, and 200 assorted sterling spacers I bought last fall -- holy cow, what a find! And so I have been making lots and lots of earrings this week, and will make lots and lots more, along with some necklaces featuring Hill Tribes silver flower pendants and faceted gemstones I bought in Tucson two years ago. I do love working with copper and brass, but sometimes a design really calls for sterling silver. You can bet I'll be keeping my bead table a bit cleaner from now on; if nothing else, I should refrain from laying out stones and findings and such until I actually have the time to execute a design, and just sketch out my jewelry ideas instead when time is short.
(It's a good goal to aim for, anyway...)